Saturday, April 21, 2007

My mortality

Since the shootings I have been really thinking about mortality. If something happened to me, what did I leave behind? What will people remember about me? Did I impact anyone?

One would think that after such a tragedy, a person would be more determined to embrace life, live it to the fullest, you name the cliché. All I want to do is push everyone away. Maybe because if something does happen, it won't hurt them as much.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Virginia Tech Tragedy

On Monday there was a tragedy at Virginia Tech University. Many friends of friends were killed and/or wounded. My good friend at UVa lost her father. I don't know what to say. I just want to cry. How safe am I at college? Why did this happen?

*** [realized I just cut off what I wanted to say]
A few weeks ago we talked about the connection between violence and masculinity in school shootings. The shooter wanted to assert his masculinity didn't he? With the images of him brandishing the guns as if he is about to shoot the picture taker. He was feeling helpless and the guns gave him that power. The media has been going on about changing gun laws, make it harder for people to get guns. But he followed the procedure, didn't break any rules. In fact he had the background check, nothing showed up because he voluntarily went to the mental hospital. Only involuntary check-ins would have shown up.

The shooter complained about classism a lot. People find that hard to believe as he is from Northern Virginia but I thought about it. In Northern Virginia there is more pressure to be well-off and his parents are not software engineers, the stereotype. His sister also was the stereotype of the model minority Princeton grad in economics. He and his parents probably wished he was similar. He is also affected by racism. He is not white so therefore he did not fit in, find his niche. He also was not open to his Korean identity it seems so he was probably excluded by them for not being "Korean" enough. He was also generally a shy person, which makes it even more difficult.

So one day he cracked and wanted to live in infamy. It's unfortunate. Such bright students - the only time I ever wanted to see their names on TV were for some great discovery or invention, not their tragic death. But I won't forget them and I have to appreciate my life and my privileges.