April 25, 2006 - Yeesh. Stressed.

Stressed. Stressed. Stressed.
I procrastinated on two papers that are due on Friday. One is total crap, and the other I haven't written yet. I guess I deserve a bad grade for procrastinating.

Then to add on top of this last week, there was this offensive cartoon on Hinduism that I didn't take seriously b/c it was dumb and didn't make sense anyway. But anyway it initiated this whole uproar against the University newspaper for printing mean stuff which it has been doing pretty regularly. Well you know how I am President or whatever this year? Well yeah to be honest I don't care but the rest of the officers care a lot. So I keep screwing up the message and that whole issue is also stressing me out.

Now I think this one person really dislikes me and she didn't before. I am getting bad vibes from her. I just wanna go home :-(. But I can't I have to write three mediocre papers. I think that is what causes my self-esteem to suffer the most, the fact that my school work has become mediocre and I'll settle for C's.

I finally got an A on a paper, my very first A on a paper at this University. It shocked me. I didn't know it was possible. So, I wanted to continue the good work, but I procrastinated and am suffering from lack of motivation. I am so sick of school. Blahhhhhh, I need to dump. I make mistakes all the time, I just wish others didn't suffer from the consequences. If my mistakes just affected me that would be great, but I really am stressed that my mistakes cause other people to think poorly of someone else. That's why I seriously need to keep my mouth shut. I must really look dumb. damnit.