FOB vs ABCD

FOB - is a degrading term for people not up to date on the culture which is an abbreviation for (Fresh Of the Boat.)
meaning you still carry your sense of fashion from your country which clashes with the current countries cultures.

Origin: Hawaii 60's

Local Hawaiians used it to refer to white people who came from mainland US to Hawaii. Its was used a lot by locals and surfers. it was to refer to white people who wasn't up to date on the culture.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=fob
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ABCD - (American Born Confused Desi) Term used to describe those of the Indian (South Asian) descent who are unaware of or are unwilling to outwardly project their Indian Heritage. The title is typically used by those of the same nationality but who are unwilling or unable to assimilate to a culture other than their own.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ABCD


Today, someone called me an ABCD :(. She didn't say it intentionally and quickly explained that she called anyone who grew up in the US that. but it's still derogatory. FOB and ABCD are mean, hurtful terms that stereotype people. I am an individual and deserve to be treated so. I know I am guilty sometimes of grouping and judging people together, which I should stop doing. I try to have some self-awareness that I would like to be treated as a person with unique thoughts and actions and not part of some category. Just saying. Everyone should be aware of the terms they use to describe other people...

inability to balance

I feel like a waitress carrying way too many trays than possible and trying hard not to drop a single one of them but give them all equal importance and help them reach their destinations. and I would really like to go on a break. I'm waiting for some of the orders for the trays and I and the customer is getting impatient.

Cheesy analogy aside, I really really would like May 12th 6:30pm to be here right now and somehow I should have miraculously aced my final exams and completed all my projects to get straight A's. A girl can dream. I've reached that odd point where I just want to get everything over with. Wish me luck!!

hazy

I know I said I didn't have time to read. However I decided to make time because reading is one of the few things in my life that keeps me sane. I read Lovely Bones and Three Cups of Tea. Lovely Bones was well-written, but utterly depressing. After I read that I wanted to be a little girl forever.

Three Cups of Tea is fantastic. An inspirational story about someone who takes action and makes a difference in the world. Greg Mortenson was a mountain climber who stumbles across a village in remote Pakistan and makes a promise to build them a school. And he actually does in addition to building 55 more around the country. He sees the power in educating young minds especially girls.



Anyway, I felt like writing in this today because I feel like I am in a daze. I am taking classes with very high-level concepts that seem to go over my head. As if I am in a place where everyone speaks Chinese and I don't understand a word and there is no translator, but if I don't communicate somehow I will not get out of the situation. Maybe others are familiar with this feeling. I haven't had that feeling in a while - I did get that when I was taking these theory math classes in undergrad that made me want to cry on a daily basis. I feel stupid for not understanding, even though I should not. I have a lot of trouble getting through tasks/classes I do not enjoy.

It's times like that when I want to curl up on the couch and watch Psych marathons and eat junk food :P. That does not unfortunately erase the inevitable task but merely postpones it. Wish me luck that I at least pass and it doesn't kill my GPA because I am defined by a number on my resume.

no time to read :(

This semester has been quite insane, so I have not had time to read :(. I will hopefully get a chance to go back to enjoying books when summer rolls around again!

Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese

Basic story: About twin boys born of a forbidden union of a Indian nun nurse and a British doctor working together in Uganda. Who eventually grow up to become doctors. The book was good - I was curious to find out what happened to them at the end. To be frank though, I felt like the end was so cliche and utterly depressing.

What it made me think of: Actually intrigued me to learn more about medicine and biology. I was impressed by the doctors in the fictional book who take such risks in surgeries and procedures in a developing nation during the time of political strife in Uganda.

Something that struck me very personally: The main character and narrator of the novel loves a girl from childhood. She torments him, splits him from his brother, forces him to escape the country because of his affiliation with her, yet he still loves her when she comes to him broken and then also hurts him again. Why do we as people do this to ourselves? Is this blind love? No matter how much a person hurts us, we still love them? I understand this wrt parent-child love, but couple love? Is this desperation? Is this the fear that we have loved a person so much that we do not let anyone else into our hearts? From an objective viewpoint, I thought the protagonist was crazy and deserved infinitely better. Although personally, I empathize - it's a missed signal between the brain and heart that causes a person to do dumb, stupid things.

2009 in books

In terms of books for 2009, it was the year I became a fan of Meg Cabot, Sophie Kinsella, Hilary Clinton, PG Wodehouse (genius!!), Haruki Murakami, Malcolm Gladwell, and Jeff Kinney.

Generally, I noticed that I got a lot of non-fiction books about social psychology - trying to understand people. I'll let you know if I ever figure that out haha. The books I read just reaffirmed what I know but kind of denied. We cannot control or change the people around us. The only people who we have that power over is ourselves. We are in charge of our own happiness. We cannot let people define us or let their actions affect us deeply. Nothing comes easily it takes time and hard work and the right environment to grow and become successful (10,000 hours right Malcolm?).

I actually avoided serious, soul sapping novels such as Khalid Hosseini novels (exception: My Sister's Keeper I had to entertain myself on the plane somehow). I was drawn to light-hearted stories like the chick lit and PG Wodehouse and the Diary of a Wimpy Kid books (Soo entertaining!!).

My reading resolution for 2010 is to read broad and wide topics and try to learn as much as possible about the world :). Book suggestions welcome!

How Starbucks Saved My Life by Michael Gates Gill

I picked this book up based on a recommendation by my friend (Thanks R!). It is Michael Gates Gill's autobiography about how he, "a son of privilege", falls from his illustrious marketing career and a marred family life. He essentially starts working at Starbucks because his independent business is failing and he is willing to take any job that is offered to him.

The main points I got from this book was that it doesn't matter how much a person gets paid for a job, if he doesn't give and feel respect for and from the people around him, then the job is not worth it. Michael Gates Gill gave his life to his career - he was always willing to sacrifice his family for a big marketing opportunity. He regretted not seeing his kids grow up. In his case, an affair and that led to the eventual disintegration of his family.

Although, I hope Starbucks didn't put him up to this as some kind of marketing scheme.

The book is definitely worth the read.

Faith Fiction and some other stuff

Who knew there was such a category of books called Faith Fiction? I certainly did not. It is I suppose the equivalent of Christian rock music. I find it quite interesting that Christianity is almost used as some sort of marketing strategy. I mean most religions do have characteristics of propaganda to further their agenda, but I never imagined it so explicitly in contemporary fiction. Lately, I have seen more commercials on TV for churches like the one for the United Methodist church too. It's not bad or anything. I'm just saying. Are their memberships dwindling?

The book kind of made me laugh in a tsk tsk way. The main message I got from it was "Christians are people too!" There were themes of fighting the stereotype (I was blissfully unaware of ) of being a pastor's wife and a feminist - that is a contradiction apparently. I have no right to mock the book because I don't have the benefit of the experience of growing up under the faith.

My religion has been a huge part of my family life but I have rarely experienced it as part of the majority culture. I believe I would find that quite strange if I ever came across Hindu faith fiction (I bet they exist) or Hindu rock music. The only type of literature I have come across is when the main characters happened to practice Hinduism and I have heard some music that was a cross between a Sanskrit sloka and a country/western song. Let's just say that was pretty unique, and maybe it grows on you. It hasn't yet though.

Permission to Succeed

This is exactly how it happened. I interviewed for a grad assistant position and thought I didn't do well. They didn't call me back when I thought they would. That's the back story.

I decided to do a mock interview- for practice I suppose. I was so down about not hearing back I was quite negative in the interview. That proceeded to make me more bummed. So I went to the library and checked out a few books on improving self-esteem/confidence. The librarian was nicer than usual when she was checking out my books.

Driving home, I'm nearly in tears :(. Then I get a phone call! I got the job!! I read/skimmed these books anyway because I don't like feeling sad. I need to think preventive not reactive.

• Breaking Murphy's Law: How Optimists Get What They Want From Life. Was too sciency. I think it was the author's dissertation turned into a book.
• The Confidence Plan. I liked this. Great, inspirational quotes at the beginning of each chapter and strong ideas.

Permission To Succeed. By Noah St. John. It's a must read when a person feels low. He really nailed how I felt. He defines it as success anorexia. The idea that many people do not allow themselves to appreciate their success, self-sabotage. They feel they don't deserve it. His entire point (IMO) was that we must first accept that it is okay to be successful. That we must fight the negative perceptions of ourselves, the Negative Self that tells us that we are bad and no one likes us, that we don't deserve anything, etc.

He made a lot of valid points and made me feel a lot better. He says it himself - many of the self-help books tell you the how but not the why. It is important for us as humans to accept ourselves and appreciate what we have, then we are truly successful.

Diary of a Wimpy Kid by Jeff Kinney

So Labor Day weekend went to visit the family. My cousin has these very popular children's book series called Diary of a Wimpy Kid. They won some awards I think. So so good. It reminded me of a cartoon kid friendly version of Doestoevsky's Notes from Underground. It's the story of your everyday kid who bumbles his way through life. But his life is so real. I mean it's not perfect, sometimes you feel sorry for him, other times you feel mad at him for doing a mean thing, sometimes you want to laugh at his antics. But he's a real kid. It's nice to read a book about a kid who isn't perfect for a change. In most kid books, everything gets solved at the end. In these books, the ending is not perfect, in fact it kind of stinks. I loved, loved this book!

My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult

So I went on a three week hiatus visiting family in India. Most of my vacations to India consist of sitting around my grandparent's house with nothing to do, but this time was pleasantly busy. I usually read quite a few novels but I didn't this time. On the airplane, I started this novel My Sister's Keeper and it's brilliant.

The story is about a young girl named Anna who would like to be medically emancipated from her parents. Her sister Kate has a rare form of leukemia and Anna was created as sort of a designer baby, the perfect match for her sister. Anna has always donated blood, platelets, etc and now she is expected to donate a kidney. She doesn't want to for reasons unknown till the end of the novel.

Where is the line one draws on being selfless?

Disclaimer

This is NOT a book critic/review site. It's more of I read this book and I write how it makes me feel or what it reminds me of. I don't analyze the books thoroughly at all and I'm nowhere near qualified to do so.

Books have always been my best friends, always there when I needed them and quite dependable. I find I usually reflect my life through them. They mean a lot to me and they help me understand myself better.

One Fifth Avenue by Candace Bushnell

Candace Bushnell is the lady who wrote the Sex and The City book that sparked the popular TV series. I never really got into that show. I think because the women live in this idealistic NYC life where sex has no consequences and a person can afford anything, where the biggest problem is buying a pair of super expensive shoes. I'm not really into that because I can't really relate, going shopping for expensive things isn't my thing and I certainly don't have the kind of celebrity problems the characters have.

I actually expected this novel to be in the chick lit category, but it wasn't really about that. There was something dark in her writing.

Although I must commend Bushnell for doing a thorough portrayal of the shallow lives of the rich around sex, drugs, and the pursuit of money. Perhaps her intention was to show that at the core character, people are generally the same. That the rich and famous don't have it all and search for happiness too. We seek the approval of those around us and who we care about and that manipulates us to do things we regret. Her characters lie, cheat, steal, pretend to get what they want. Interestingly enough, I noticed that the main driver of all of this was loneliness, that I can relate to. One character Lola, basically the slut of the book, forms relationships with people because she cannot bear to be alone. Another character, the movie star Diamond Schiffer for 20 years pretends to be apathetic towards the one she loves. Who hasn't put up that wall in order to protect ourselves from any hurt?

A Wild Sheep Chase by Haruki Murakami

Yesterday I read the entire novel at work from start to finish. Clearly, I have lots to do. Also, clearly I am doing work right now by writing this blog post. By the way what is the etiquette on the number of times a person should ask for work to do?

Back to the novel. Interestingly this is the second novel this year I read about sheep. The first one I read was about detective sheep, don't ask.

Haruki Murakami is a fantastic writer. His style flows easily and the content is so wonderfully bizarre that I cannot help reading it. His novels are actually in Japanese and I have read a English translated version, which is an artform in itself. I am told this is his strangest novel and he is best known for The Wind up Bird Chronicles. A Wild Sheep Chase is about a man who is sent on a mission to find this rare sheep that apparently takes over people's bodies. When the proverbial sheep is in that person's body he has built an entire mafia like empire and exhausts its human host towards death. It sounds like scifi or horror but it isn't. I think the sheep is a symbol of greed and power that take over one's mind. I have not read a "strange" book in a while, so this novel was a nice change of pace.

He's Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tucillo

This book really killed my self-esteem. The entire premise of this book is that if a guy is into you, nothing will stop him. There won't be excuses. Some people have told me that I am intimidating, so I let things go that most guys are shy. Apparently, that shouldn't stop someone either. If the guy is too shy to even talk to me, then apparently he's not worth it. Greg also says we should not do the asking, that guys like the 'chase'.

If what this guy says is correct, then does that not mean no one has been into me ever? I didn't think I was that bad looking or that awful of a person. In fact, I know quite a few wonderful ladies who also fall into this category. My question for Greg is what is wrong with the male population?! Can someone kindly explain? It makes me irritated.

some summer reading

this summer has been quite tumultuous in summer reading. much like my mind and sanity. that's another story though. i borrowed quite a number of books from the library and failed to make it through all of them. there were many starts to novels that just started to bore me and i gave up on them.

however i did come across a few books that i really enjoyed. I read Malcolm Gladwell's 3rd book called Outliers. It was a fantastic read. The main point of the novel IMO is that the key to success is not just working hard and having the brains. It is also a matter of one's upbringing, environment, and in fact the timing that one was born.

Many examples were quite good. One that struck me was his analysis on the Canadian youth hockey all-star team. He noticed that all the members of this team were born in the early part of the year. Why is that I wondered. It was because the cut off date for the beginners was Dec 31st. The children who were stronger and more mature were obviously the older players - the ones born in Jan, Feb, etc.

Another good one was his noticing that Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Sun Microsystem founders were all born in 1954. Also, it takes approximately 10,000 hours to be successful which is equivalent to about 10 years. We cannot assume that people become overnight sensations, it may appear that way to us but in fact they probably worked hard for it. The day I read that book I noticed that one of my favorite shows The Daily Show with Jon Stewart was in the comedy business for 10 years until he got his fame as the Daily Show host. I also watched Ellen that day and there was a child prodigy pianist, she was about 8 years old. She mentioned that she practiced all day long about 8 hours a day since she was 3 years old. It made sense.

Another book that I read is called Science of Happiness by Stefan Klein. The bookstore and library is always full of self-help and motivational books. But really what is the evidence supporting their arguments? Some stories of people who did really well - but they might be the exception to the rule. In this book by Klein, he discusses happiness from a scientific perspective (duh) with research done on rats and chimpanzees and also by telling his readers about the chemicals in the brain that control happiness like dopamine. I read it a while ago and I'm not science-inclined so I can't remember all the fancy names. All I know is that I liked that he proved the importance of family, friendship, staying occupied, and love in one's happiness with such concrete examples. I've been telling everyone I've met to read it. One of those books that changed my way of thinking.

Another book I read this summer was He's Just Not That Into You. I have a long rant for that book so I'll save it for tomorrow.

Right Ho Jeeves and Code of the Woosters

I am ashamed to say I was so late in joining the P.G. Wodehouse fan club. The man is a comic genius. I have read Code of the Woosters and Right Ho Jeeves so far. Both are laugh-out-loud funny. The characters are endearing and realistic. The writing style is not ostentatious. Although, I wish I had a Jeeves around to solve all my problems.

At least now I know where that website name - AskJeeves.com - originated.

Living History by Hilary Clinton

Lately, I have been having trouble finding a book that I can complete. Not much has held my interest. It took me over three weeks to finish the autobiography of Hilary Clinton called Living History. Not because it was boring, it was actually quite enlightening. I just feel a lack of motivation, but there might be other reasons.

Hilary's book reminded me that the President and his family are human - capable of mistakes and successes. Their lives are overly scrutinized. Hilary decides to wear a pink suit once and the news is abuzz about why she chose to wear it. She has a slip of the tongue and the whole world analyzes it and takes it out of context. I can't imagine how they could get anything done being under the microscope. I admire her strength.

I must remember not to do the same thing to the Obamas. They are under a LOT of pressure already. They are trying their best to maintain a sense of normalcy and do what they think is the right thing. Pres Obama is being pulled in every direction possible.

Naturally, what inspired me the most about Hilary was that she was a woman. She has changed the role of First Lady. First Lady was expected to be a gracious dinner hostess and a pretty face, not much else. She wanted to take charge and change the healthcare system, but she got crap for it partially because she was a woman and the First Lady. How frustrating. I don't know how she made it through it all. She got so much crap throughout her presidential election campaign for being a woman.

In my opinion, Hilary truly showed her personal strength when it came to finding out about her husband's inappropriate actions with Monica Lewinsky. American culture and society would have told Hilary to dump her husband. Because that is what is practiced. If a relationship doesn't work, give up and move on. But she didn't do that. She decided that she should stay with her husband, forgive him for his mistakes, and learn to overcome personal struggles.

The people we love the most can do things that hurt us. Children do that to parents all the time. Does that mean we give up? We usually don't, we keep loving them anyway.

Hilary Clinton is a strong woman and I only wish I could be half as strong as her.

all chick lit is not created equal

All chick lit is definitely not created equal. It's fair to say there are two general broad categories: serious and funny. I personally enjoy the funny chick lit, as in it literally makes you laugh at loud - I recommend to read anything by Meg Cabot, Sophie Kinsella, and Robyn Harding, and the books on Bridget Jones. Serious lit is good too for the people who like The Notebook.

From reading so many novels this past week to qualify as chick lit it must satisfy certain standards.
(1) Romance of some sort
(2) Take place in a big city - usually New York City or London
(3) The main character is awkward yet endearing

This past week and half, my favorites to read were Queen of Babble in New York City by Meg Cabot and Journal of Mortifying Moments by Robyn Harding. No Kinsella books were available in the library :(.

I also read a novel called Mr. Commitment. The interesting point is that it is written from the male perspective by a male author. It was about a man and woman who have been dating for four years and should get married but the man is afraid of committing, even though he loves her with all his heart (I did not realize this was actually a common problem - that is supremely comforting).

Another two books I read were called Girl's Night In and Girl's Night Out. They were a collection of short stories from several different female authors. All the proceeds went to a charity that helped children in war-torn nations. If someone was looking to explore the chick lit genre, those books are a great place to start and see all the different kinds of styles that are out there.

Chick lit is great to read. So much fun! Because it is so light-hearted. Although reading seven books one after the other can take a toll on a person - that much writing about romance and finding the right guy...ick. So took an another adventure to the library and got all the books that were totally the opposite of what I have just read to balance it out.

chick lit

So I went to the library yesterday, as my books were due and I could not renew them. I went kind of crazy and checked out 8 books. They fall in the chick lit genre. Wiki defines it as "a term used to denote genre fiction within women's fiction written for and marketed to young women, especially single, working women in their twenties and thirties." Source.

All I can say is these books make me happy. They seem to be about real women with superficial problems that I can relate to. I love serious novels as well - they just tend to make me depressed and feel like I need to do more with my life. There is just something about chick lit that is relatable and just honest.