a bookworm's musings

Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson

2012-01-16T16:38:00.000-05:00

I am weary of anyone who gets treated like a god. The way people worship expensive Macs and how some people treated Steve Jobs as a divine being bothered me. I barely knew anything about him other than that he was the founder of Apple. I only ever read/heard in the media of how private he kept his life and when he criticized another company like Flash or Microsoft.

With this book, I developed a new-found respect for Jobs. Very few people match his passion and his biography portrays his strengths and flaws. The guy lived on LSD as a student and is a Buddhist/Hare Ram Hare Krishna follower.

Worth the read.

Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts

2011-12-09T15:14:00.001-05:00

This story is incredible. What's even more incredible about it is that is true. Roberts is a fantastic writer. The novel is about him - he is an escaped convict from Australia and somehow ends up in India. When his visa expires, he lives in a Mumbai slum establishing a free medical clinic and then gets entrenched in the Mumbai underworld.

Roberts writes beautifully but there is one quote that I want to share (more can be found here).

"At first, when we truly love someone, our greatest fear is that the loved one will stop loving us. What we should fear and dread instead is that we won't stop loving them, even after they are dead and gone."

There are very few people in the world I trust and love unconditionally. At many points in this book, I actually cried. To be loved wholeheartedly is a blessing.

Lin (Robert's adopted name in the book) goes to his friend's Prabahakar's village and meets his family. He is so overwhelmed with how welcoming they are and how they don't question anything about his past. I have never had that experience. I generally get bombarded with questions on all the things that stress me out like education (took the long route), work (job hunting fun times), marriage, etc. I finally reached a good point on all of those but the constant barraging always appeared like they didn't have faith in me. I wanted one person to just say I know you will figure it out even though it might not seem like it. South Asian people generally treat guests way better than their own family.

It doesn't matter where you live or what you do, when you feel like part of a community it makes all the difference. Lin lives in the slum and he becomes part of its diverse family. For once, he feels like he belongs. How much each neighbor cares for each other is quite amazing. I suppose when you are working towards a common goal of satisfying one's basic needs of food and shelter all the other differences like caste or religion don't seem important. When the basic needs are fulfilled however, humans tend to find other things that separate each other...

This book is definitely worth the read.

The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls

2011-10-16T17:16:00.000-04:00

Small novels are the perfect novels for long train rides to work. Even though I am tempted to take longer reads they are just way too heavy to carry when you need a free hand to hold onto a pole/bar. Anyway, this book was really good. For the simple reason that truth is often stranger than fiction. This is a memoir about a girl and her very unique and crazy parents. It's a wonder that she and her siblings are even alive and doing remarkably well now. There were two thoughts that came to my mind while reading this.

I am very blessed to have my parents. I know I don't acknowledge them enough though. Jeannette's parents basically leave their kids to fend for themselves, even though they always stay together as a family. Her parents' goals are not to provide them with the best they can offer them, but are just kind of there. There are several times where I think the kids take better care of their parents... It makes me wonder what is the "coddling line"? Parents cannot take care of every detail of their kids' lives, there has to be a point where they let go. I think a major goal of parents should be to teach their kids to be self-sufficient. It's something I don't often feel I know how to do. I don't blame my parents in any way of course; I think I am one of those people who needs to be "thrown into the water to learn how to swim". I never felt I learned to be somewhat self-sufficient until I was on my own in college and now working. If parents or someone always takes care of you - when is the point that a person will learn to take care of him/herself?

The second major thought that occurred to me is poverty a choice or circumstance? Jeannette really tries as an adult to get her parents off the street (they are homeless), but they refuse. They actually like living on the streets. It's hard to believe but as I read that novel I understood why the characters felt that way. They are free-spirited and being constrained to a certain location and to daily mundane routines would never work for them. I see many homeless poor people while walking to work. They solicit for money, etc. Is it by circumstance they end up there - could there be no other option than to resort to begging? However there is one guy who is my favorite. He shouts "Good morning!" to everyone that walks by in a loud, cheery voice. I think he sleeps on the bench in that park every day but he is happy and he doesn't ask for a penny. Is he there by choice?

Poverty is not a passive event. Or is it? I am not quite sure after reading this book.

Charlie Joe Jackson's Guide to Not Reading by Tommy Greenwald

2011-07-18T16:14:00.002-04:00

I haven't written in this blog for a while, life has happened. Lot has changed and much more to come! I haven't found the same pleasure in reading that I used to :( and I am determined to get that same rush again!

I moved to a new library system (that's always wierd) and am getting used to the way they operate. I suppose I have been nostalgic about the days when I was a kid, which inspired me to pick up this book. I am a huuuge fan of the Diary of a Wimpy Kid books and picked this one up by chance to see if it fell in the same category.

It wasn't that bad. The main character's only fault is that he doesn't like to read and will do anything to get out of doing it. I suppose I couldn't relate on a personal level because the protagonist seems to be pretty good at everything else! His friends never isolate him and everyone is so normal in his life. I wanted a character with more depth and slight angst and who makes mistakes, whose family is not normal, etc. Because seriously in whose life are people "normal" or "average"? I think it would have been nice if the author had linked not reading to meaning Charlie was not doing well at school either. How else would he know those big words and give awesome presentations? It just didn't fit exactly.

Maybe younger kids might find this book a fun read, but it definitely doesn't cross over to the adult reader.

Things I Learned in Graduate School and Some Advice

2010-12-15T23:39:00.005-05:00

Things I Learned in Graduate School

No matter how much I study or "think" I know, I will never be good at taking tests.
Group projects are bipolar. Sometimes you learn a lot and feel accomplished, but mostly just get many headaches and want to cause some violence.
Everyone has an intellectual limit - I believe it's called a learning curve. I am pretty sure I hit the learning curve about 7 years ago and have skidded along since then.
The more I know, the less I realize I know.
Don't get your PhD unless you really, truly love researching a subject for 5 years of your life. (Thank God I'm not getting my PhD)
Undergrad is way better than graduate school in terms of the experience and the friends. As a graduate student, I pretty much knew where my classes were and where the food was.
Graduate school is not like undergrad. My classmates ranged from married housewives stuck on dependent visas to full-time employees who have been in the software field for 5+ years to international students who are not living with their parents for the first time in their life. Basically, being a student is not exactly their singular identity like it was for everyone in undergrad.

Things Teachers/Professors Should Do

Never make an exam worth 50% of the total grade.
Always be clear on class expectations - not verbally, but written down on an actual sheet of paper or posted on Blackboard/class website.
Don't hand write lecture notes on the white board. Use powerpoint or the zillion of the other tools out there available on the computer. We don't live in the 1980's anymore.
Don't repeat verbatim what's on the lecture slides and then proceed to go through 100 of them. You seriously can't expect someone to learn or get any semblance of anything that way.
Treat students respectfully, don't look down upon them for their lack of knowledge. If they knew it already, why would they be taking the class?
Don't pawn parts of the dirty work of your research project onto students who don't necessarily understand the complexities of the 10 years of work you put into it. That does not make anyone look good.

Would anyone like to add?

the classroom

2010-11-14T18:53:00.002-05:00

Please professor, you can't possibly think I can sit still for 2 hrs and 40 minutes and listen to a lecture with black and white slides and NO pictures.

The best learning environment I had: When I was a first year in college, I had a class on the Lawn. It was a cramped room in one of the pavillions. It was one long, rectangular table that everyone sat around. One of the best classes ever. Everyone could see each other and it provided a comfortable environment to talk. For French 201, it was ideal because we simply turned to the person next to us and practiced speaking in French. In my opinion, the traditional classroom should be reconsidered.

6 more weeks

2010-11-02T15:44:00.001-04:00

6 more weeks, 6 more weeks...and then no more school for a really, really long time. at least no more until after I pay off my student loans.

nerves

2010-08-30T10:48:00.002-04:00

I am NERVOUS. It's my last first day of school. EVER.

50 Books Every Geek Should Read

2010-08-26T14:45:00.002-04:00

50 Books Every Geek Should Read

I highly recommend Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, finally funny sci-fi.

I plan on becoming a UI architect/designer so Steve Krug's Don't Make Me Think really made me think about how to approach design (pun intended:P).

Books that Apparently I should have Heard and Read Already

2010-08-26T14:40:00.003-04:00

Two series of popular books that everyone and their moms are apparently reading and I somehow missed hearing about until recently.

The Millenium Trilogy: Starting reading The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, SO INTRIGUING. I am trying so very carefully not to accidentally read any spoilers.

The Hunger Games: Today the 3rd book Mockingjay came out and the blogs are abuzz as people go to midnight parties, etc.

World Humanitarian Day - Sharing my love for reading

2010-08-19T10:56:00.002-04:00

The Room to Read foundation's motto is "World Changes Starts With Educated Children"

LOVE LOVE LOVE!!

That was exactly the premise of Three Cups of Tea. Access to books makes a lot of difference. Increasing literacy is fundamental to helping young people in poverty-stricken areas.

Must-read:
For the Love of Reading

Go to these sites to see how you can volunteer/contribute!
http://www.hrfindia.org/
http://www.roomtoread.org/

FOB vs ABCD

2010-05-26T20:21:00.003-04:00

FOB - is a degrading term for people not up to date on the culture which is an abbreviation for (Fresh Of the Boat.)
meaning you still carry your sense of fashion from your country which clashes with the current countries cultures.

Origin: Hawaii 60's

Local Hawaiians used it to refer to white people who came from mainland US to Hawaii. Its was used a lot by locals and surfers. it was to refer to white people who wasn't up to date on the culture.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=fob
-----
ABCD - (American Born Confused Desi) Term used to describe those of the Indian (South Asian) descent who are unaware of or are unwilling to outwardly project their Indian Heritage. The title is typically used by those of the same nationality but who are unwilling or unable to assimilate to a culture other than their own.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ABCD

Today, someone called me an ABCD :(. She didn't say it intentionally and quickly explained that she called anyone who grew up in the US that. but it's still derogatory. FOB and ABCD are mean, hurtful terms that stereotype people. I am an individual and deserve to be treated so. I know I am guilty sometimes of grouping and judging people together, which I should stop doing. I try to have some self-awareness that I would like to be treated as a person with unique thoughts and actions and not part of some category. Just saying. Everyone should be aware of the terms they use to describe other people...

inability to balance

2010-04-27T17:25:00.002-04:00

I feel like a waitress carrying way too many trays than possible and trying hard not to drop a single one of them but give them all equal importance and help them reach their destinations. and I would really like to go on a break. I'm waiting for some of the orders for the trays and I and the customer is getting impatient.

Cheesy analogy aside, I really really would like May 12th 6:30pm to be here right now and somehow I should have miraculously aced my final exams and completed all my projects to get straight A's. A girl can dream. I've reached that odd point where I just want to get everything over with. Wish me luck!!

hazy

2010-04-06T11:35:00.002-04:00

I know I said I didn't have time to read. However I decided to make time because reading is one of the few things in my life that keeps me sane. I read Lovely Bones and Three Cups of Tea. Lovely Bones was well-written, but utterly depressing. After I read that I wanted to be a little girl forever.

Three Cups of Tea is fantastic. An inspirational story about someone who takes action and makes a difference in the world. Greg Mortenson was a mountain climber who stumbles across a village in remote Pakistan and makes a promise to build them a school. And he actually does in addition to building 55 more around the country. He sees the power in educating young minds especially girls.

Anyway, I felt like writing in this today because I feel like I am in a daze. I am taking classes with very high-level concepts that seem to go over my head. As if I am in a place where everyone speaks Chinese and I don't understand a word and there is no translator, but if I don't communicate somehow I will not get out of the situation. Maybe others are familiar with this feeling. I haven't had that feeling in a while - I did get that when I was taking these theory math classes in undergrad that made me want to cry on a daily basis. I feel stupid for not understanding, even though I should not. I have a lot of trouble getting through tasks/classes I do not enjoy.

It's times like that when I want to curl up on the couch and watch Psych marathons and eat junk food :P. That does not unfortunately erase the inevitable task but merely postpones it. Wish me luck that I at least pass and it doesn't kill my GPA because I am defined by a number on my resume.

no time to read :(

2010-03-09T13:38:00.003-05:00

This semester has been quite insane, so I have not had time to read :(. I will hopefully get a chance to go back to enjoying books when summer rolls around again!

Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese

2010-01-18T22:09:00.002-05:00

Basic story: About twin boys born of a forbidden union of a Indian nun nurse and a British doctor working together in Uganda. Who eventually grow up to become doctors. The book was good - I was curious to find out what happened to them at the end. To be frank though, I felt like the end was so cliche and utterly depressing.

What it made me think of: Actually intrigued me to learn more about medicine and biology. I was impressed by the doctors in the fictional book who take such risks in surgeries and procedures in a developing nation during the time of political strife in Uganda.

Something that struck me very personally: The main character and narrator of the novel loves a girl from childhood. She torments him, splits him from his brother, forces him to escape the country because of his affiliation with her, yet he still loves her when she comes to him broken and then also hurts him again. Why do we as people do this to ourselves? Is this blind love? No matter how much a person hurts us, we still love them? I understand this wrt parent-child love, but couple love? Is this desperation? Is this the fear that we have loved a person so much that we do not let anyone else into our hearts? From an objective viewpoint, I thought the protagonist was crazy and deserved infinitely better. Although personally, I empathize - it's a missed signal between the brain and heart that causes a person to do dumb, stupid things.

2009 in books

2010-01-07T17:14:00.002-05:00

In terms of books for 2009, it was the year I became a fan of Meg Cabot, Sophie Kinsella, Hilary Clinton, PG Wodehouse (genius!!), Haruki Murakami, Malcolm Gladwell, and Jeff Kinney.

Generally, I noticed that I got a lot of non-fiction books about social psychology - trying to understand people. I'll let you know if I ever figure that out haha. The books I read just reaffirmed what I know but kind of denied. We cannot control or change the people around us. The only people who we have that power over is ourselves. We are in charge of our own happiness. We cannot let people define us or let their actions affect us deeply. Nothing comes easily it takes time and hard work and the right environment to grow and become successful (10,000 hours right Malcolm?).

I actually avoided serious, soul sapping novels such as Khalid Hosseini novels (exception: My Sister's Keeper I had to entertain myself on the plane somehow). I was drawn to light-hearted stories like the chick lit and PG Wodehouse and the Diary of a Wimpy Kid books (Soo entertaining!!).

My reading resolution for 2010 is to read broad and wide topics and try to learn as much as possible about the world :). Book suggestions welcome!

How Starbucks Saved My Life by Michael Gates Gill

2009-12-29T21:49:00.002-05:00

I picked this book up based on a recommendation by my friend (Thanks R!). It is Michael Gates Gill's autobiography about how he, "a son of privilege", falls from his illustrious marketing career and a marred family life. He essentially starts working at Starbucks because his independent business is failing and he is willing to take any job that is offered to him.

The main points I got from this book was that it doesn't matter how much a person gets paid for a job, if he doesn't give and feel respect for and from the people around him, then the job is not worth it. Michael Gates Gill gave his life to his career - he was always willing to sacrifice his family for a big marketing opportunity. He regretted not seeing his kids grow up. In his case, an affair and that led to the eventual disintegration of his family.

Although, I hope Starbucks didn't put him up to this as some kind of marketing scheme.

The book is definitely worth the read.

Faith Fiction and some other stuff

2009-11-23T15:43:00.002-05:00

Who knew there was such a category of books called Faith Fiction? I certainly did not. It is I suppose the equivalent of Christian rock music. I find it quite interesting that Christianity is almost used as some sort of marketing strategy. I mean most religions do have characteristics of propaganda to further their agenda, but I never imagined it so explicitly in contemporary fiction. Lately, I have seen more commercials on TV for churches like the one for the United Methodist church too. It's not bad or anything. I'm just saying. Are their memberships dwindling?

The book kind of made me laugh in a tsk tsk way. The main message I got from it was "Christians are people too!" There were themes of fighting the stereotype (I was blissfully unaware of ) of being a pastor's wife and a feminist - that is a contradiction apparently. I have no right to mock the book because I don't have the benefit of the experience of growing up under the faith.

My religion has been a huge part of my family life but I have rarely experienced it as part of the majority culture. I believe I would find that quite strange if I ever came across Hindu faith fiction (I bet they exist) or Hindu rock music. The only type of literature I have come across is when the main characters happened to practice Hinduism and I have heard some music that was a cross between a Sanskrit sloka and a country/western song. Let's just say that was pretty unique, and maybe it grows on you. It hasn't yet though.

Permission to Succeed

2009-10-24T16:05:00.002-04:00

This is exactly how it happened. I interviewed for a grad assistant position and thought I didn't do well. They didn't call me back when I thought they would. That's the back story.

I decided to do a mock interview- for practice I suppose. I was so down about not hearing back I was quite negative in the interview. That proceeded to make me more bummed. So I went to the library and checked out a few books on improving self-esteem/confidence. The librarian was nicer than usual when she was checking out my books.

Driving home, I'm nearly in tears :(. Then I get a phone call! I got the job!! I read/skimmed these books anyway because I don't like feeling sad. I need to think preventive not reactive.

Breaking Murphy's Law: How Optimists Get What They Want From Life. Was too sciency. I think it was the author's dissertation turned into a book.
The Confidence Plan. I liked this. Great, inspirational quotes at the beginning of each chapter and strong ideas.

Permission To Succeed. By Noah St. John. It's a must read when a person feels low. He really nailed how I felt. He defines it as success anorexia. The idea that many people do not allow themselves to appreciate their success, self-sabotage. They feel they don't deserve it. His entire point (IMO) was that we must first accept that it is okay to be successful. That we must fight the negative perceptions of ourselves, the Negative Self that tells us that we are bad and no one likes us, that we don't deserve anything, etc.

He made a lot of valid points and made me feel a lot better. He says it himself - many of the self-help books tell you the how but not the why. It is important for us as humans to accept ourselves and appreciate what we have, then we are truly successful.

Diary of a Wimpy Kid by Jeff Kinney

2009-09-13T20:57:00.002-04:00

So Labor Day weekend went to visit the family. My cousin has these very popular children's book series called Diary of a Wimpy Kid. They won some awards I think. So so good. It reminded me of a cartoon kid friendly version of Doestoevsky's Notes from Underground. It's the story of your everyday kid who bumbles his way through life. But his life is so real. I mean it's not perfect, sometimes you feel sorry for him, other times you feel mad at him for doing a mean thing, sometimes you want to laugh at his antics. But he's a real kid. It's nice to read a book about a kid who isn't perfect for a change. In most kid books, everything gets solved at the end. In these books, the ending is not perfect, in fact it kind of stinks. I loved, loved this book!

My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult

2009-08-28T14:57:00.002-04:00

So I went on a three week hiatus visiting family in India. Most of my vacations to India consist of sitting around my grandparent's house with nothing to do, but this time was pleasantly busy. I usually read quite a few novels but I didn't this time. On the airplane, I started this novel My Sister's Keeper and it's brilliant.

The story is about a young girl named Anna who would like to be medically emancipated from her parents. Her sister Kate has a rare form of leukemia and Anna was created as sort of a designer baby, the perfect match for her sister. Anna has always donated blood, platelets, etc and now she is expected to donate a kidney. She doesn't want to for reasons unknown till the end of the novel.

Where is the line one draws on being selfless?

Disclaimer

2009-07-27T10:32:00.002-04:00

This is NOT a book critic/review site. It's more of I read this book and I write how it makes me feel or what it reminds me of. I don't analyze the books thoroughly at all and I'm nowhere near qualified to do so.

Books have always been my best friends, always there when I needed them and quite dependable. I find I usually reflect my life through them. They mean a lot to me and they help me understand myself better.

One Fifth Avenue by Candace Bushnell

2009-07-25T16:29:00.003-04:00

Candace Bushnell is the lady who wrote the Sex and The City book that sparked the popular TV series. I never really got into that show. I think because the women live in this idealistic NYC life where sex has no consequences and a person can afford anything, where the biggest problem is buying a pair of super expensive shoes. I'm not really into that because I can't really relate, going shopping for expensive things isn't my thing and I certainly don't have the kind of celebrity problems the characters have.

I actually expected this novel to be in the chick lit category, but it wasn't really about that. There was something dark in her writing.

Although I must commend Bushnell for doing a thorough portrayal of the shallow lives of the rich around sex, drugs, and the pursuit of money. Perhaps her intention was to show that at the core character, people are generally the same. That the rich and famous don't have it all and search for happiness too. We seek the approval of those around us and who we care about and that manipulates us to do things we regret. Her characters lie, cheat, steal, pretend to get what they want. Interestingly enough, I noticed that the main driver of all of this was loneliness, that I can relate to. One character Lola, basically the slut of the book, forms relationships with people because she cannot bear to be alone. Another character, the movie star Diamond Schiffer for 20 years pretends to be apathetic towards the one she loves. Who hasn't put up that wall in order to protect ourselves from any hurt?

A Wild Sheep Chase by Haruki Murakami

2009-07-21T10:05:00.002-04:00

Yesterday I read the entire novel at work from start to finish. Clearly, I have lots to do. Also, clearly I am doing work right now by writing this blog post. By the way what is the etiquette on the number of times a person should ask for work to do?

Back to the novel. Interestingly this is the second novel this year I read about sheep. The first one I read was about detective sheep, don't ask.

Haruki Murakami is a fantastic writer. His style flows easily and the content is so wonderfully bizarre that I cannot help reading it. His novels are actually in Japanese and I have read a English translated version, which is an artform in itself. I am told this is his strangest novel and he is best known for The Wind up Bird Chronicles. A Wild Sheep Chase is about a man who is sent on a mission to find this rare sheep that apparently takes over people's bodies. When the proverbial sheep is in that person's body he has built an entire mafia like empire and exhausts its human host towards death. It sounds like scifi or horror but it isn't. I think the sheep is a symbol of greed and power that take over one's mind. I have not read a "strange" book in a while, so this novel was a nice change of pace.

He's Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tucillo

2009-07-21T09:54:00.002-04:00

This book really killed my self-esteem. The entire premise of this book is that if a guy is into you, nothing will stop him. There won't be excuses. Some people have told me that I am intimidating, so I let things go that most guys are shy. Apparently, that shouldn't stop someone either. If the guy is too shy to even talk to me, then apparently he's not worth it. Greg also says we should not do the asking, that guys like the 'chase'.

If what this guy says is correct, then does that not mean no one has been into me ever? I didn't think I was that bad looking or that awful of a person. In fact, I know quite a few wonderful ladies who also fall into this category. My question for Greg is what is wrong with the male population?! Can someone kindly explain? It makes me irritated.

some summer reading

2009-07-19T22:05:00.003-04:00

this summer has been quite tumultuous in summer reading. much like my mind and sanity. that's another story though. i borrowed quite a number of books from the library and failed to make it through all of them. there were many starts to novels that just started to bore me and i gave up on them.

however i did come across a few books that i really enjoyed. I read Malcolm Gladwell's 3rd book called Outliers. It was a fantastic read. The main point of the novel IMO is that the key to success is not just working hard and having the brains. It is also a matter of one's upbringing, environment, and in fact the timing that one was born.

Many examples were quite good. One that struck me was his analysis on the Canadian youth hockey all-star team. He noticed that all the members of this team were born in the early part of the year. Why is that I wondered. It was because the cut off date for the beginners was Dec 31st. The children who were stronger and more mature were obviously the older players - the ones born in Jan, Feb, etc.

Another good one was his noticing that Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Sun Microsystem founders were all born in 1954. Also, it takes approximately 10,000 hours to be successful which is equivalent to about 10 years. We cannot assume that people become overnight sensations, it may appear that way to us but in fact they probably worked hard for it. The day I read that book I noticed that one of my favorite shows The Daily Show with Jon Stewart was in the comedy business for 10 years until he got his fame as the Daily Show host. I also watched Ellen that day and there was a child prodigy pianist, she was about 8 years old. She mentioned that she practiced all day long about 8 hours a day since she was 3 years old. It made sense.

Another book that I read is called Science of Happiness by Stefan Klein. The bookstore and library is always full of self-help and motivational books. But really what is the evidence supporting their arguments? Some stories of people who did really well - but they might be the exception to the rule. In this book by Klein, he discusses happiness from a scientific perspective (duh) with research done on rats and chimpanzees and also by telling his readers about the chemicals in the brain that control happiness like dopamine. I read it a while ago and I'm not science-inclined so I can't remember all the fancy names. All I know is that I liked that he proved the importance of family, friendship, staying occupied, and love in one's happiness with such concrete examples. I've been telling everyone I've met to read it. One of those books that changed my way of thinking.

Another book I read this summer was He's Just Not That Into You. I have a long rant for that book so I'll save it for tomorrow.

Right Ho Jeeves and Code of the Woosters

2009-04-06T11:11:00.002-04:00

I am ashamed to say I was so late in joining the P.G. Wodehouse fan club. The man is a comic genius. I have read Code of the Woosters and Right Ho Jeeves so far. Both are laugh-out-loud funny. The characters are endearing and realistic. The writing style is not ostentatious. Although, I wish I had a Jeeves around to solve all my problems.

At least now I know where that website name - AskJeeves.com - originated.

Living History by Hilary Clinton

2009-03-10T14:54:00.004-04:00

Lately, I have been having trouble finding a book that I can complete. Not much has held my interest. It took me over three weeks to finish the autobiography of Hilary Clinton called Living History. Not because it was boring, it was actually quite enlightening. I just feel a lack of motivation, but there might be other reasons.

Hilary's book reminded me that the President and his family are human - capable of mistakes and successes. Their lives are overly scrutinized. Hilary decides to wear a pink suit once and the news is abuzz about why she chose to wear it. She has a slip of the tongue and the whole world analyzes it and takes it out of context. I can't imagine how they could get anything done being under the microscope. I admire her strength.

I must remember not to do the same thing to the Obamas. They are under a LOT of pressure already. They are trying their best to maintain a sense of normalcy and do what they think is the right thing. Pres Obama is being pulled in every direction possible.

Naturally, what inspired me the most about Hilary was that she was a woman. She has changed the role of First Lady. First Lady was expected to be a gracious dinner hostess and a pretty face, not much else. She wanted to take charge and change the healthcare system, but she got crap for it partially because she was a woman and the First Lady. How frustrating. I don't know how she made it through it all. She got so much crap throughout her presidential election campaign for being a woman.

In my opinion, Hilary truly showed her personal strength when it came to finding out about her husband's inappropriate actions with Monica Lewinsky. American culture and society would have told Hilary to dump her husband. Because that is what is practiced. If a relationship doesn't work, give up and move on. But she didn't do that. She decided that she should stay with her husband, forgive him for his mistakes, and learn to overcome personal struggles.

The people we love the most can do things that hurt us. Children do that to parents all the time. Does that mean we give up? We usually don't, we keep loving them anyway.

Hilary Clinton is a strong woman and I only wish I could be half as strong as her.

all chick lit is not created equal

2009-01-09T20:48:00.003-05:00

All chick lit is definitely not created equal. It's fair to say there are two general broad categories: serious and funny. I personally enjoy the funny chick lit, as in it literally makes you laugh at loud - I recommend to read anything by Meg Cabot, Sophie Kinsella, and Robyn Harding, and the books on Bridget Jones. Serious lit is good too for the people who like The Notebook.

From reading so many novels this past week to qualify as chick lit it must satisfy certain standards.
(1) Romance of some sort
(2) Take place in a big city - usually New York City or London
(3) The main character is awkward yet endearing

This past week and half, my favorites to read were Queen of Babble in New York City by Meg Cabot and Journal of Mortifying Moments by Robyn Harding. No Kinsella books were available in the library :(.

I also read a novel called Mr. Commitment. The interesting point is that it is written from the male perspective by a male author. It was about a man and woman who have been dating for four years and should get married but the man is afraid of committing, even though he loves her with all his heart (I did not realize this was actually a common problem - that is supremely comforting).

Another two books I read were called Girl's Night In and Girl's Night Out. They were a collection of short stories from several different female authors. All the proceeds went to a charity that helped children in war-torn nations. If someone was looking to explore the chick lit genre, those books are a great place to start and see all the different kinds of styles that are out there.

Chick lit is great to read. So much fun! Because it is so light-hearted. Although reading seven books one after the other can take a toll on a person - that much writing about romance and finding the right guy...ick. So took an another adventure to the library and got all the books that were totally the opposite of what I have just read to balance it out.

chick lit

2008-12-30T17:17:00.002-05:00

So I went to the library yesterday, as my books were due and I could not renew them. I went kind of crazy and checked out 8 books. They fall in the chick lit genre. Wiki defines it as "a term used to denote genre fiction within women's fiction written for and marketed to young women, especially single, working women in their twenties and thirties." Source.

All I can say is these books make me happy. They seem to be about real women with superficial problems that I can relate to. I love serious novels as well - they just tend to make me depressed and feel like I need to do more with my life. There is just something about chick lit that is relatable and just honest.

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society - Mary Anne Shaffer and Annie Barrows

2008-12-24T16:47:00.002-05:00

This book is SO GOOD. It takes place post 1940s WWII, one of my favorite time periods! I enjoy post-colonial literature. It is also in letter format so quite fun to read. I usually do not like multiple characters, but this book read so smoothly and I literally could not put it down. Just AMAZING. It takes place on these small islands off the coast of France and in London. The main character is witty, sarcastic, fun. A well-written novel.

Description from the website: Guernsey

January 1946: London is emerging from the shadow of the Second World War, and writer Juliet Ashton is looking for her next book subject. Who could imagine that she would find it in a letter from a man she's never met, a native of the island of Guernsey, who has come across her name written inside a book by Charles Lamb.

As Juliet and her new correspondent exchange letters, Juliet is drawn into the world of this man and his friends—and what a wonderfully eccentric world it is. Born as a spur-of-the-moment alibi when its members were discovered breaking curfew by the Germans occupying their island, the Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society boasts a charming, funny, deeply human cast of characters, from pig farmers to phrenologists, literature lovers all.

Juliet begins a remarkable correspondence with the society's members, learning about their island, their taste in books, and the impact the recent German occupation has had on their lives. Captivated by their stories, she sets sail for Guernsey, and what she finds will change her forever.

Written with warmth and humor as a series of letters, this novel is a celebration of the written word in all its guises, and of finding connection in the most surprising ways.

The Vanishing Act of Esme Lennox by Maggie O'Farrell

2008-12-21T20:18:00.002-05:00

The book was not that bad. I think the ideas of it were somewhat frightening to my imagination. A girl's parents send her to a mental institution where she lives for over 60 years. She is not crazy, but just a free spirit who doesn't do everything that is told of her. She returns to the real world where no one even knows she exists. Is that scary or what?

To disappear and be forgotten that easily. Your life to have made an almost invisible but noticeable impact. To almost not be discovered.

As a child and a teenager, often times I wish I could disappear or be invisible. See if I made any difference in the world. Now, I changed my perspective on that. I look for the people who fade in the background and try to acknowledge them because I know how it feels...

The Last Summer (Of You & Me) by Ann Brashares

2008-12-18T21:55:00.003-05:00

I am completely in love with the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants series, so seeing another book by this lady was intriguing. It was very good. About a person's first true love. The sacrifices we make for the ones we love. Recently, from TV and film, I had just been feeling that the concept of 'love' has just become so superficial (not that I actually know anything haha) and meaningless and often pornographic. However, she made it seem so beautiful that I hope everyone would be lucky to experience. Innocent, pure love that makes a person feel guilty about being allowed to have or afraid of its power. Brashares painted a wonderful story that is engrossing and sweet and simple. I highly recommend it as it appeals to my inner romantic-idealism.

winter book list

2008-12-16T21:33:00.002-05:00

I went to the library yesterday and got some books. In an upcoming dance drama, there is a scene with a fortune teller who reads palms. All the girls were talking about it and we had fun trying to figure out what futures our hands told us. Of course we were just making up stuff haha. So I went got a book. And some others that were in the Fortunate Finds Section (2 weeks only no renewal).

Some type of review coming soon:

How To Read Palms
The Guernsey Library and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Anne Shaffer and Annie Barrows
The Vanishing Act of Esme Lennox by Maggie O'Farrell
The Last Summer (of You & Me) by Ann Brashares [author of the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants series!]

Lucky T - Kate Brian

2008-12-09T23:29:00.002-05:00

My sister borrowed this book from the library and I decided to read it. It was about a girl who has this lucky T-shirt that accidentally gets sent as part of a donation to India. The girl decides to go all the way to India to track it down, but learns about how she can create her own luck, and (of course like all teen novels!!) meets a cute, perfect guy in the process.

It was alright. I'm glad Kate Brian did not romanticize or exoticize India. Of course, meeting the Indian guy was a little idealistic and unrealistic. Seriously? An Indian-British student who goes to Cambridge is going to fall for a sophomore in high school? Really?

I guess that was the nature of the teen novel genre. If I want to say something positive, a message of sorts could be a person creates his or her own luck. Nothing deep or profound.

Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell

2008-12-05T18:45:00.002-05:00

I read this novel based on a friend's recommendation. It started out pretty well. Wikipedia describes it better than me:

The book consists of six nested stories that take us from the remote South Pacific in the nineteenth century to the far future after a nuclear apocalypse.

Each nested story is distinctly written the style, prose, you name it. It could be thought of as 6 different authors wrote stories and combined it into one book. I admire Mitchell's range in writing. There was supposed to be a common thread throughout the novel which I thought was kind of lame, but I guess it worked.

Again, I prefer novels that follow a singular storyline and not meander with many different characters, so I liked some of the stories more than others. It was not boring, but I did not read it for a few days and honestly did not have the desire to finish it since the portions with my favorite characters were complete.

It's worth a shot in reading at least once.

Brick Lane - Monica Ali

2008-10-25T18:51:00.002-04:00

WOW. what a novel. It was so exciting to read that I woke up this morning and just polished the book off instead of getting ready for the day. I get carried away with books that I tend to mirror the feelings off the protagonists. Anyway...

The story: A Bengali Muslim woman who is sweet, grateful, and from the village has an arranged marriage to a man who lives in London. He is very good to her, but not attractive or the overly romantic type. He is an intellectual who loves to discuss everything. She takes all this into stride and considers herself very lucky.

However, she starts to have an affair with a young man. She unlocks all these sexual emotions she didn't know she had. At this point of the story, I felt for her. Was she trapped in a loveless marriage? What is more important - her stability or deep love?

It makes me think about Western society, Hollywood, and even Bollywood now. They push this idea of romantic love. That someone out there is your soul mate. It's not like that though. Statistically speaking there is little chance that I'm going to run into the perfect person for me. Hats off to the people who get the best of both worlds, but to me the priority is someone who I can trust to take care of me. Well-educated, stable, and a source of strength.

In India, let's face it, most marriages are arranged. But why is there such a negativity associated with it? Most of my family have gone this route and have turned out pretty well. The couples make a good team, running after their kids and managing the household. I think you can grow to love a person not because they think you're beautiful and ahem great in other ways, but because of their caring nature.

I read this article from the New York Times (Marry Him!). I interpreted it as don't go searching for the man of your dreams; if someone is smart, stable, and you could see as a good caretaker and father - what is wrong with marrying him? You don't always have to be all over each other (if you catch my drift). I realize though that is an important trait for me. Every male I have admired as been such a good caretaker - made you feel safe.

This novel was much better than Kiran Desai's book. It followed one character and really made me feel like I knew her personally and sympathized and envied her.

I don't want to give away the story ending, but I approved. She made the right, mature decision.

Inheritance of Loss - Kiran Desai

2008-10-18T15:39:00.002-04:00

I picked up this novel from the library. It is going rather slow so far, and I am not that motivated to finish it. There are many characters and a scattered writing style. She writes a few paragraphs about one character, then switches to another. I do however like the story about the 17 yr old Sai and the worker Bijju struggling to live in New York City. I may just skip over the parts about other characters and find out what happens to them.

jonathan livingston seagull - a review

2008-10-14T18:17:00.003-04:00

For more information:
Wiki

Writing Style: It was quite an easy read. I polished it off in under an hour.

It was a simple story with a powerful meaning. I got reminded very much of Thoreau's Walden and existentialist thought. As humans, we are more than worrying about food and material possessions, but about a higher purpose. No one is better than the other. There is a passage that really struck me.

The same rule holds for us now, of course: we choose our next world through what we learn in this one. Learn nothing , and the next is the same as this one, all the same limitations and lead weights to overcome.

That is very, very cool.

some new books

2008-10-13T23:10:00.002-04:00

I have some textbooks that I should read for classes. However, I went to the University library and splurged on some novels that were recommended to me and I always intended to read. You shall hear thoughts after I complete them.

Book names:
Jonathan Livingston Seagull
Brick Lane by Monica Ali
Inheritance of Loss by Kiran Desai
Cloud Atlas

Best Comics in the Wash Post

2007-09-17T14:31:00.000-04:00

The comics that make me laugh out loud every morning.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/artsandliving/comics/

Zits
Agnes
Candorville
Pooch Cafe
Pearls Before Swine
Single and Looking
Non Sequitur
Baby Blues
Frazz
Get Fuzzy
Rhymes With Orange
Lio
Brewster Rockit: Space Guy!
Red and Rover
Foxtrot
Opus

Post-Partum College Life

2007-08-20T18:21:00.001-04:00

Goshdarnit. Fudgesicles. Shittake Mushrooms. Hoover Dam.

Life really does get more complicated after undergrad ends.

Forget boy who out of the blue dumps me and disappears off the face of the earth. I mean it literally. He has not replied to phone calls/emails/facebook messages from our common friends in over two months. That's a whole other story.

The question is what to do after college ends. Go to grad school? Find another job? The one I have currently is good, but not something I want to do forever. Why does their have to be so many choices? For example , what to do in grad school? I love managing stuff and dishing out advice (The irony - I like to give advice even though I don't know what the hell I'm doing with my own life). So something along those lines. Now I just have to figure out what it is called.

Now I'm starting my 20's. Being a desi girl there is a lot more pressure in the "finding someone" category. Seriously right now it does not seem worth the stress. It seems like a full-time job to me. You have to go look around, meet people, see if you like each other, try it out, and on and on and on. So does not seem worth it.

Hearts

2007-06-15T09:57:00.000-04:00

It almost happened. To me. Something nice. It was just the beginning and fun. But it went kersplat. I learned from it I guess. I'm lucky my parents were ok with it, but the other person's weren't, so it had to end. It kind of hurts a lot. I guess I would pick my family over a potential too. I hope he fought for me a little though. I'm glad it wasn't a personal vendetta against me, but parental disapproval. It still sucks.

I really liked him. And I think he liked me. I got the impression. But maybe we got caught up in the moment. Our hearts were going faster than we could catch up because it was a first for both of us. It felt nice to hear and say things though. I still want to be friends. That would be sad to not talk to each other again because of this. We were good friends before. I know it won't be the same, but completely cut off? We didn't even get a chance to develop anything. It felt good though to find out someone thought I was attractive and had a crush on me. I didn't think that was possible.

Best Parents

2007-06-14T14:09:00.000-04:00

My parents should seriously consider competing in the Best Parents in the World Contest.
They are awesome. I love them dearly. They treat me like an adult and let me make my own mistakes. I know they trust me and my judgment and I'm glad they do. They don't scold me for making a mistake, a bad experience, or trying something new; but have faith that I learned from it and will make the most of it. I have control and choice over my life and my actions with their guidance. I have a good relationship with them - we respect and try to listen to each other. Sure we argue about it, but there is a discussion and attempts to hear the other point of view and give reasons. I have done things that they do not approve of but they still support me.

I love you mom and dad!

College Graduate!!

2007-05-21T00:09:00.000-04:00

On Sunday May 20th, I graduated with a B.A. in History from The University. Woohoo!! I'm a college graduate, baby!

I have also accomplished some of the goals I made in a previous post. I graduated and I got a job!!! I also got the best grades ever this semester - I finally made the Dean's List! It raised my cumulative gpa to a 3.0! That was my goal =D.

This year is looking good so far. Lots of plans for the summer.

To do:
*Visit Stafford
*Visit Boston
*Visit VA Beach
*Visit NYC
*Go to TANA

Just have to figure out how to do it all. That is a problem I do not mind having =)

woah. so soon?

2007-05-11T23:54:00.000-04:00

woah. i'm graduating in 9 days. i will officially be a college graduate. how time flies. i got a job though!

i'm really going to miss all my friends. it's comforting that other fourth years are leaving at the same time. but i'll miss seeing them around everyday. when i will i ever have such an experience again? it is sad to leave the underclasspeople too. some great people i never got the chance to really know and some i did. i might never see those people ever again b/c the world is frankly too big. if they're international students or something that chance is even lower.

another chapter of my life ends. another opens. hope it's just as memorable.

My mortality

2007-04-21T18:18:00.000-04:00

Since the shootings I have been really thinking about mortality. If something happened to me, what did I leave behind? What will people remember about me? Did I impact anyone?

One would think that after such a tragedy, a person would be more determined to embrace life, live it to the fullest, you name the cliché. All I want to do is push everyone away. Maybe because if something does happen, it won't hurt them as much.

Virginia Tech Tragedy

2007-04-17T12:53:00.000-04:00

On Monday there was a tragedy at Virginia Tech University. Many friends of friends were killed and/or wounded. My good friend at UVa lost her father. I don't know what to say. I just want to cry. How safe am I at college? Why did this happen?

*** [realized I just cut off what I wanted to say]
A few weeks ago we talked about the connection between violence and masculinity in school shootings. The shooter wanted to assert his masculinity didn't he? With the images of him brandishing the guns as if he is about to shoot the picture taker. He was feeling helpless and the guns gave him that power. The media has been going on about changing gun laws, make it harder for people to get guns. But he followed the procedure, didn't break any rules. In fact he had the background check, nothing showed up because he voluntarily went to the mental hospital. Only involuntary check-ins would have shown up.

The shooter complained about classism a lot. People find that hard to believe as he is from Northern Virginia but I thought about it. In Northern Virginia there is more pressure to be well-off and his parents are not software engineers, the stereotype. His sister also was the stereotype of the model minority Princeton grad in economics. He and his parents probably wished he was similar. He is also affected by racism. He is not white so therefore he did not fit in, find his niche. He also was not open to his Korean identity it seems so he was probably excluded by them for not being "Korean" enough. He was also generally a shy person, which makes it even more difficult.

So one day he cracked and wanted to live in infamy. It's unfortunate. Such bright students - the only time I ever wanted to see their names on TV were for some great discovery or invention, not their tragic death. But I won't forget them and I have to appreciate my life and my privileges.

http://www.cnn.com/

Just for some amusement

2007-02-27T19:53:00.000-05:00

Oh Scott Adams you are so clever.

The End?

2007-02-10T22:31:00.000-05:00

I think it's time to hang up the dancing shoes figuratively. I don't actually wear shoes when I dance though. I am getting too old for it anyway. It's time to grow up. Get a job. Ughh and get married. I think I'll just adopt.

Losing/Misplacing Things

2007-01-16T23:41:00.000-05:00

Why does it consume us when we cannot find something? We know it could not have gone anywhere and it is right under your nose, but we just cannot locate it. It drives us mad, even if it is something that is cheap. Yet we are hypocrites - when others lose something we want to laugh at their insanity and obsession of finding it.

For instance, my sister and I went to a dance performance. My sister dropped her pedometer and it went into the row in front of us. For the next four dances that was all she could think about and she was panicking because it was part of a grade at school. I thought she was being silly because it could not have left the auditorium. We did find it and she stressed needlessly.

However right now I am stuck in the same situation. I went home for winter break thinking I forgot my extra contacts in my dorm. Now they are not in my dorm anywhere. I looked everywhere that I could have placed it. I must have taken them. I swear they are not anywhere at home either! I cleaned all the bathroom drawers at home and they were not in there. Are they in my room somewhere? but where??

Possibly the annoying thing is it is too late to call home and ask them to check. Now that is all I can think about until I find them. Boooooooo.

I know I did not throw them away, but I wish I could find them. Dagnabit. Morning come soon so I can call homeeee

reflections on 2006

2007-01-01T22:21:00.000-05:00

2006 started off with a bang.
the first day we flew from california to back home.
a good friend's father died suddenly.
i turned 20 (egads).
my sister became a teenager and is definitely showing symptoms.
i somehow barely survived 4 history classes and statistics.
i had the most boring desk job ever.
i went to india.
i did really really well taking 3 history classes and econ.

i don't think anything stands out in my mind particularly as memorable. but it wasn't a bad year.

movies of 2006:
telugu -
Bommarillu
Godavari

hindi -
kabhi alvida na kehna
lage raho munnabhai
omkara
rang de basanti

english -
every animated film that came out: cars, over the hedge, happy feet, ice age: the meltdown, etc.
i have to think about this...

songs of 2006:
telugu -
songs from Bommarillu
songs from Godavari
songs from Pokiri
songs from Pournami
songs from Athadu

hindi -
it wasn't a great year for hindi movies i honestly have to say

english -
i have to agree with the billboard top 10 albums and the vh1 top 40 countdown of 2006.
top 10 albums

wikipedia has a nice overview of all things 2006

----
what to look forward to in 2007:
turning 21
GRADUATING FROM COLLEGE!
getting a job
joining the real world
TANA 2007 (meeting mahesh babu)

here's hoping for 2007 to be even better and brighter!

Happy New Year to all of you!

Share your memories with me =)

delirious

2006-12-20T14:39:00.000-05:00

ahhh i got two As!!! i'm absolutely happy!!!! I haven't gotten two A's in so long. I'm so ecstatic I did not get a C. Still one grade pending but that is definitely not going to be bad!!=D =D

I've been watching lots of TV at home. It's kind of ironic. I love the makeover shows. So basically I watch other people improve their lives while I sit on the couch in my pajamas. I'm really impressed and think 'wouldn't it be nice if someone could inspire me like that?' then i just eat more chocolate/food and watch another show. yay! I'm so lazy if I don't plan anything. I always need something to look forward to. Normal people go hang out with her high school or old friends. Truth is though I don't have any that I was really close to that we make an effort to hang out. Too bad. I've never had a close group of friends before college really and I think when I was five. Eh. That's way too depressing to talk about.

I think I'm more of an acquaintance person. I know lots of people and am excellent at small talk. If I see someone after a long time at a party/gathering, I have no problem talking, but we don't keep in touch in between. They don't make an effort and neither do I.

There is a select group of people I've known since practically birth. There were four of us that were the same age. We do not talk outside of seeing each other's families at things. When we were little we were close in proximity and as friends. Then we moved away and whatnot. You know scratch the fact that I don't make an effort. I do. I sent one of the girls an e-card for her bday b/c she never picks up her cell maybe she changed it dunno. She does not even acknowledge that I sent her a card - no nice email saying thanks sruti hope everything is great. That frankly pisses me off. You know she is also the favorite amongst all the parents because she acts soo sweet. poop on her. i think that is one of my problems. i try too hard to be nice to people who do not give a damn about me.

exammsss

2006-12-10T17:22:00.000-05:00

aahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my 15 page paper really really really sucks and i'm stressed like no other. damn damn damn why is it 40% of my grade. shoot me now. ok just sharing.

Dancing in front of an Audience

2006-12-04T23:52:00.000-05:00

Is it wierd that I don't mind performing in front of a group of strangers but I hate performing for my friends or family? you would think it should be the opposite.

i feel all this pressure to be really good when i perform in front of people i know. i realllyyy want to show them, but I get so antsy and nervous I usually end up messing up or freaking out. It's semi stage fright. I love performing - it's the best high ever! seriously, your adrenaline is pumping and you just give it your all. but for some odd reason i am so afraid of what my friends think. damn high expectations.

I also don't mind going in stage as part of a group but a solo eek. It's something I'm slowly working on getting over. I cannot let one bad experience marr future opportunities.

This applies to all parts of my life. I would do so much better in my classes if I didn't have grades. I have got to learn to handle things under pressure. I get crushed too easily. I must put myself out there. ::repeat incessantly::

this semester i took a dance class - learned some ballet and hip hop. so much fun! tomorrow i'm performing. i hope i can control my incredibly long spaghetti arms...they're like rubber bands flailing all over the place.

The Dilbert Blog: Why is Music Legal?

2006-12-03T16:32:00.000-05:00

Very funny post by Scott Adams...Why is Music Legal?

Why is Music Legal?

Sometimes I wonder why music is legal. Music can alter your mood and your body chemistry just like any illegal drug. The fact that it goes into your body through your ear shouldn’t make a difference. We take drugs via practically every other hole in our body – mouth, butt, eyeballs, nose – you name it. Ain’t nothing special about an ear.

Music is clearly unsafe. Suppose you’re in a perfectly good mood and a depressing song comes on. That could make you sad and break down your body’s natural defenses. You could get sick and die. Thank you very much Tori Amos.

Many songs are dangerous to hear while operating a motor vehicle. For example, anything by the Doobie Brothers will force me to exceed the speed limit. You probably have your own songs that make you speed. If you believe in free will you might argue that people always have the choice of NOT speeding. But by that reasoning it should be legal to allow drunks to drive because they have the choice of not doing it.

Let me put it another way. If gum made people more likely to speed, you know there would be a law against chewing and driving. If it goes into your body through your mouth, it’s a drug. If it goes in through your ears, it’s entertainment. That seems random to me.

One way you know you have a drinking problem is if it affects your work. I don’t know about you, but if I have a song stuck in my head, it lowers my I.Q. by about 40 points. I can sometimes do two things at the same time if those two things are easy, such as humming and walking. But if I’m trying to write a blog post or read a licensing contract, a song in my head will turn me into a chimp. Case in point – I have a song in my head right now and this post sucks.

Don’t forget – music is a gateway drug to harder stuff. Music attracts dancing. Dancing attracts alcohol. Alcohol leads to unwanted pregnancies. Unwanted pregnancies lead to abortion. If you believe life begins at conception, you have to believe that music kills babies.

And then there’s the corrosive effect of hip-hop music. I enjoy a lot of it, but after hearing three tracks I have an urge to slap a ho. That can’t be healthy, especially for the ho.

Just to be clear, I don’t think music should be illegal. I just think it’s somewhat random that it isn’t.

Scott Adams is GREAT!

procrastination as usual

2006-11-29T18:45:00.000-05:00

You know one of the hardest things in the world? Trying to start a paper. You know you're supposed to do it, but you just keep trying to come up with distractions. For example, looking at videos on youtube. I've even told myself I'll write a little bit then as a reward I'll watch that awesome clip on youtube. What usually happens is I watch the clip but don't get much writing done. Go figure.

The paper topic is so cool I do not know why I cannot motivate myself. I'm supposed to be writing about the contributions and controversies of the devadasis. By far the most interesting thing that I have discovered in my research (and by research i mean googling) is a woman named Kama who is a devadasi in Britain. She has a blog too. My first impression was blogging 'prostitute' has potential to be well explicit and TMI. Surprisingly or not surprisingly, she is incredibly intelligent and a confident woman; Kama writes about current issues and whatever strikes her mind. She really makes me rethink the role of women and sexuality. Her strongest point is regulating prostitutes will not make a difference, but regulating the people who go to prostitutes. Basic rule of economics whenever there is a demand there will be a supply. I'm neither praising nor condoning what she does, but I admire her eloquence and guts to stand for what she believes in without sounding arrogant or superficial. American society tends to stigmatize sex as purely physical and X rated, but in fact it is something beautiful and spiritual. Creation is an amazing thing.

Sepiamutiny had a posting about it a while back. The comment section is compelling.

one of those days

2006-11-16T21:47:00.000-05:00

Today was not a good day. I went to work, quite boring. The highlight is if my boss comes by to visit, but no such luck. my job used to be really cool. but then the Center lost funding. i thought i had lost my job too this summer. i got it back, but i only work 2 hrs a week. they just needed someone to make sure it doesn't die. i'm like a deathbed nurse. in its last moments i'm to make sure it doesn't become a mess.

The weather sucked. Waded in the rain literally. usual umbrella flipping inside out because of the fucking wind.

Went to my dance class. Last class the teacher filmed us so we would know what we did wrong. so we watched the tape today. boy oh boy do i do a lot wrong. my arms go flying all over the place and i can't do leaps. undermined any kind of dance confidence i was slowly regaining. curse my spaghetti arms. embarrassed greatly.

my econ class fri was cancelled so i decided to go home today instead of tomorrow. b/c i was just wasting my time at school anyway, i have nothing to do. HSC used to take up a lot of time, but not much i can do anymore. that's another story. it's crazy i read some of the old things i wrote and i used to be busy. i'm envious of that.

i really wanted to do this service project spring break trip thing and i got rejected. wonderful. i even got rejected from the extra trips they made b/c so many people applied. fabulous. rejection is part of life yes i know. but getting rejected by everything doesn't do much for one's self esteem. ::bangs head against wall repeatedly:: and no i'm not basing my life on that one instance. i don't really want to give a list of my rejections and things i did not and should have done. that will just make me more depressed.

A Corner of A Foreign Field

2006-11-10T14:06:00.000-05:00

As I mentioned earlier, I'm reading this book for my Modern South Asia history course. I felt like posting the question and my personal thoughts to flush out a decent thesis. Perhaps if you come across this you can help me out? Tell me if I'm making sense. The paper's only 5 pages though and due on Tues...

The question:

In this class, the text Modern South Asia provides you with one master narrative of South Asian history. Ramachandra Guha writes in the preface to A Corner of a Foreign Field that ‘the making of modern India’ is the theme of his book. How does A Corner enhance or transform the master narrative that you have accessed through lectures and Modern South Asia? Does cricket loftily taper over the fissures of colonial and post colonial India?

The answer:

This book is perfect for curious cricket enthusiasts and clueless people who wondered what all the fuss was about. Nonetheless, it should not be taken as the primary source, but rather inspire the reader to find out more about the events he mentions. The book does enhance the story of Modern India narrated thus far. In fact, because of the other viewpoints we have read, I am able to look at Guha's writing critically.

Guha tends to be biased and does not acknowledge criticisms of the famous figures he mentions in particular Mahatma Gandhi. Perhaps the most striking example is when Gandhi fasts to prevent separate electorates for Untouchables (Poona Pact). Guha does not mention Ambedkar's position. That was a most unfair decision on Gandhi's part because he placed Ambedkar in a bind. If one of the most worshipped leaders in the nation died, Ambedkar could not prevent mass lynchings of Untouchables, therefore he had to concede. It could not have been because Amdekar realized that Gandhi was right; it was a matter of saving people. How does that relate to cricket you ask? One of the greatest bowlers in perhaps the world is the Untouchable Palwankar Baloo, who inspired Ambedkar. Baloo ventured into politics (as all celebrities do) and was one of the main figures in asking Ambedkar to compromise for a few special seats for Untouchables instead. Baloo was a staunch Gandhian. It's ironic because Ambedkar believed no matter what anyone said, upper caste persons would not be able to treat Dalits as equals, so he chose to work out of Hinduism. But then here is a great Dalit idol who believes it is possible because it happend to him, but not everyone can be a great cricket player. Guha seems to deify Gandhi, but he was human and he made mistakes.

I think in the early 20th century cricket did not play such a major role in the history, but after 1947 Independence its importance is astounding. I never realized how tied to nationalism the sport was or any sport for that matter. Guha tells mini stories of how all hell would break loose if India lost to Pakistan. People would say Bharat Mata ki jai if India won! The most entertaining example is when India beat Pakistan, the people who worked at the LOC only heard a few happy shots of gunfire, but if they lost... oh boy.

ok this is getting too long. Any tips appreciated!!!

just too funny - actual test answers

2006-11-08T23:41:00.000-05:00

I got this from a friend. It's just too funny =).

The following excerpts are actual answers given on history tests and in Sunday school quizzes by children between 5th and 6th grade, in Ohio.
-------
Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines. He was an actual hysterical figure as well as being in the bible. It sounds like he was sort of busy too.

The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a young female moth.

Socrates was a famous old Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. He later died from an overdose of wedlock which is apparently poisonous. After his death, his career suffered a
dramatic decline.

In the first Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits, and threw the java. The games were messier then than they show on TV now.

Queen Elizabeth was the Virgin Queen. As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted hurrah! and that was the end of the fighting for a long while.

It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood.

Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper which was very dangerous to all his men.

The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comics, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter.

Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost.
Since then no one ever found it.

Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's Mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his
own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation.

Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf that he wrote loud music and became the father of rock and roll. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.

The nineteenth century was a time of a great many inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring
up.

Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men.

Charles Darwin was a naturalist. He wrote the Organ of the Species. It was very long and people got upset about it and had trials to see if it was really true. He sort of said God's days were not just 24 hours but
without watches who knew anyhow? I don't get it.

Karl Marx was one of the Marx Brothers. The other three were in the three were in the movies. Karl made speeches and started revolutions. Someone in the family had to have a job, I guess.

Book on India and Memento

2006-11-06T18:28:00.000-05:00

Some people get on my nerves. Just thinking about it makes my head hurt, so I'm not.

On Friday, I went to a discussion about the Gita 12th chapter on bhakti. It was most interesting. The 12th chapter gives a prescription to achieve a peaceful state of mind (ALWAYS open to interpretation). We just talked about how hard that can be and how to focus on God when going through motions of the day. Someone brought up a good point that we always blame God when we are angry or hurt, but when something good happens we always congratulate ourselves. Another person related a story of his father who always thinks about God when he eats ice cream - he offers it to God first. Anyway, it's a reminder to think of Him when positive things happen too. That is so true, so each of us decided to pick an object, something positive to help us remember God. I'm going to try that from now on.

I also watched the film Memento. I liked it, I was in complete suspense till the end. Although I was disappointed with the ending. I always like to have a rationale for everything and that's not the ending they gave. I don't want to give away the story, but people should watch it! Really good directing and cinematography.

I don't know much about Cricket, but for my modern South Asia class, she asked us to read a book called Corner of A Foreign Field. It's a history of cricket in India. The book is really very good, but you know how something can lose its appeal if it becomes a homework assignment? Anyway, I like that he talks about a little known AMAZING bowler named Baloo. He was an untouchable. But cricket seems to have been a path for him to overcome the oppression that comes along with being a Dalit. That's pretty cool.

musicpalooza

2006-11-02T22:47:00.000-05:00

classes going remarkably better than before. that's miraculous. the job hunting still scary but i'm used to the idea now. but now all I do is listen to music currently it's Telugu since I went to India over the summer and stocked up.

People should listen to all the songs from Bommarilu!!!! I can't decide which one i like the most. I really love 2 songs from Pournami - Muvvala Navakalla and Evaro Chudali. They're haunting. And the songs from Pokiri. So much fun! I think Telugu music is in some kind of economic boom right now. Hindi music hasn't been that super lately. Devi Sri Prasad is just AMAZING as a music director. He really thinks about lyrics too. And they're just beautiful and poetic =). A lot of the songs now in Telugu are so trashy. You know what song cracks me up? That song from Pokiri:

Ippatikinka naa vayasu ninda padahare, cheetiki maatiki cheyesthu chuttu kurralle

hahahaha

Sept 20, 2006 - titleless

2006-09-20T22:31:00.000-04:00

school is going alright. lots of reading, but it's pretty interesting. all about indian history, fills all the gaps of my knowledge. mostly this semester consists of panicking about what i'm going to do next year. I know I want a job in non-profit/media/HR but. but. but. scared my grades and my experience not good enough. i know i'm not confident enough, i just hope i can be enough to fake it. and i might not even know if i have a job until i graduate. i can't handle that much uncertainty for so long. bleh. just research and try to fix my grades as best as i can i guess.

June 21, 2006 - Competition for best weekend ever

2006-06-21T14:18:00.000-04:00

this past weekend went to va beach for my friend's bday. rocked like no other. i like the beach. the weather was nice, the water was nice. i think i enjoyed the company the most though =).

I haven't been good at doing the reading lately. I'm always too tired when I come home. I mean to read at work, but I always forget my book in my rush in the morning. I have been reading Tree-Bride by Bharati Mukherjee. I was skeptical at first b/c I didn't like Mukherjee's short stories; they bored me to sleep. But I like Tree-Bride it reads a lot more smoothly. Hehe actually my dad accidentally returned it while I was reading it halfway, so I had to wait until I could borrow it again. So I'm reading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince again. Maybe I'll read something I might have missed before...a clue to the next book!

I saw this movie called Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikandar. I like the song Pehla Nasha. I have to dl it.

June 1, 2006 - best weekend ever!

2006-06-01T14:05:00.000-04:00

best. weekend. ever. =) i haven't had that much of a good time in so long. feels good. i never knew i would find so many people who are so similar to me and that i got along with so well. i wish we all were closer distance-wise. i'm sooooooo glad i got the opportunity to meet them though! i don't think i forged that kind of relationship with anyone even at UVa. All those relations seem strained and superficial. hmmm.

may 22, 2006 - to do this summer

2006-05-22T11:08:00.000-04:00

watch lots of good movies and read lots of good books.

any recommendations? interested in all genres.

currently reading
White Teeth by Zadie Smith
Stiff by Mary Roach
[both are really good!! reviews coming soon]

watched
Badra Telugu film with Ravi Teja and Meera Jasmine. It wasn't bad actually, the jokes were entertaining. The fighting/violence was just showy for the audience. The film could have been as good with it toned down.

going to watch
Chukkalo Chandrudu with Siddharth (:-* mwah). hope it's good.

------

started work already. might go to India this summer. last weekend went to an air show in Andrews Air Force Base in MD. that was cool. this coming weekend going to NJ to HSC National Conference. hopefully get to see my family and have a good time.

i bet you're curious how grades went this semester. good news is i didn't do any worse. i did exactly the same. only 2 C's. that is an improvement. hopefully next year my grades will be even better. aiming for a 3.0 to graduate.

May 9, 2006- umm i'm strange

2006-05-09T18:47:00.000-04:00

Wow. Reading what I wrote previously, I'm annoyed by it. All I have done is just whine and complain. That's shameless. I hope to get over myself someday. By complaining, nothing is happening. It's unfortunate that this kid and I are not the friends we once were, but that is the way the boat floats. But I have to try if I want to be his friend so badly. 2 more exams left. Then it's the official end of third year. Only one more year of college. scary and exciting. where did the time go?

May 4, 2006- Going Crazy

2006-05-04T23:53:00.000-04:00

I think I 'm going mentally insane. I have 5 in-class 3 hour exams starting on Saturday. Egads. All I can do is go surf the internet and listen to music with studying in between. The unfortunate thing is I must ace all 5 in order to get decent grades in the classes. I don't understand my lack of motivation. I'm trying really. I went to the library, the entire freakin University is there, thus there isn't anymore space. The irony of all this you see is that I did nothing fun this semester- I didn't go to any parties or hang out with old friends. I stayed home and studied and went on facebook (evil time waster) and became jealous of all the people who did stuff by looking at their fun pictures. I guess that's what I get for taking four history classes and changing my major.

I am really good at losing friends. There was this one friend last year; he and I were best buddies. Then this year, he is like a stranger. It's wierd. The wierd part is the pessimism in me told me that we weren't going to be friends this year, I knew it. Once he wasn't a part of the Hindu Students Council anymore, how could we be friends? We lost the common interest. And also he got back together with his girlfriend and they're probably going to get married. They spend all their time together. What's unfortunate is she lives in the building right next to us and not once does he come visit. He came in the beginning but only b/c he wanted to borrow my textbook. But what is most annoying is I am constantly reminded of him. We used to trade music a lot and the songs he sent me are on my computer and when I put a random playlist, there they are. It's not that I had a crush on him. God no. Ok maybe a little, in the beginning. But we were like best friends like siblings we told each other stuff. Then I don't know what happened. I tried to have the same relationship as before, but something changed. He became a jerk. To me at least. Maybe he was one all along. Maybe that's partially why I've been kind of sad all year. I feel like I lost a good friend and it's somehow my fault = (. Believe me, he isn't making it easy to talk to him either. He tells other people that he thinks I'm mad at him. That confuses me. It also reminds me of something I do myself. It's a way of pushing people out of your life. So, dear person, do not worry if you wish that I should no longer be your friend and should not interfere in your life. Wish you well.

April 25, 2006 - Yeesh. Stressed.

2006-04-25T10:57:00.000-04:00

Stressed. Stressed. Stressed.
I procrastinated on two papers that are due on Friday. One is total crap, and the other I haven't written yet. I guess I deserve a bad grade for procrastinating.

Then to add on top of this last week, there was this offensive cartoon on Hinduism that I didn't take seriously b/c it was dumb and didn't make sense anyway. But anyway it initiated this whole uproar against the University newspaper for printing mean stuff which it has been doing pretty regularly. Well you know how I am President or whatever this year? Well yeah to be honest I don't care but the rest of the officers care a lot. So I keep screwing up the message and that whole issue is also stressing me out.

Now I think this one person really dislikes me and she didn't before. I am getting bad vibes from her. I just wanna go home :-(. But I can't I have to write three mediocre papers. I think that is what causes my self-esteem to suffer the most, the fact that my school work has become mediocre and I'll settle for C's.

I finally got an A on a paper, my very first A on a paper at this University. It shocked me. I didn't know it was possible. So, I wanted to continue the good work, but I procrastinated and am suffering from lack of motivation. I am so sick of school. Blahhhhhh, I need to dump. I make mistakes all the time, I just wish others didn't suffer from the consequences. If my mistakes just affected me that would be great, but I really am stressed that my mistakes cause other people to think poorly of someone else. That's why I seriously need to keep my mouth shut. I must really look dumb. damnit.

March 20, 2006 - still wrong

2006-03-20T21:26:00.000-05:00

still say the wrong things. what's new? i just seriously need to shut up.

March 15, 2005 - Not good with titles

2006-03-15T17:53:00.001-05:00

All my entries are self-bashing because well that's pretty much how I feel currently. So if you don't like them, don't read them. I like to whine and wallow in self-pity because when I actually try to do something to get out of the depressing state, something else usually happens to come tumbling back down.

I know I have it good. Not many people have the opportunity to study at this University. Hell, not many people go to college or even finish grade school. I am lucky that I have a loving family, food to eat, and a place to live. Many people in this world don't have those things I know. But, somehow I don't know why I feel pathetic and worthless. I try really hard to think how lucky I am, but I still don't feel good about myself. It's all about being happy with how things are going and well I am not.

I'm barely passing college. I have no motivation. You would think trying to study harder to get better grades is good enough motivation, but it isn't. I really don't care anymore. I don't say things right- people interpret them wrong and naturally I get in trouble for it. I have many, many character flaws. Right now, I cannot think of anything good or something I like about myself. Let me try.

...

Nope. Nothing. The environment and the external stuff are good. It's the internal stuff that's fucked up. I don't know how to fix that. Unless. Somehow I can go back in time and erase the past, and redo it properly with the knowledge of what I did wrong. That is not going to happen. I just feel miserable.

February 27, 2006: Wrong yet again

2006-02-27T23:06:00.000-05:00

Guess what? I was wrong. What's new? I thought I did everything pretty well. I secretly thought that Ha! if I'm not there they can't function. I was wrong. turns out they don't need me. that sucks. in fact apparently according to my roommate, I shoot down people's ideas and don't give them a chance. ok i took that to heart didn't realize that people could take it that way. so i give a big responsibility to someone to prove that i do trust that person. then the very roommate says I didn't assure that person that she was doing it right... WTF?? does she want me to hold that person's hand?? The girl has been to 5 of the exact same things, if she doesn't get it by now, o dear. What does she want from me??? It's my job, I'm the boss, so stop telling me what the fuck to do.

February 17, 2006 - Undermining

2006-02-17T19:22:00.001-05:00

Never be in an organization with your good friends. Of course you should be courteous and get along with the other officers, but never become really good friends. Because it makes it complicated when they undermine your authority. I am the leader of an organization and they may not acknowledge or unfortunately don't realize it, but I me Sruti do most of the dirty behind-the-scenes work. It is frustrating when they undermine my authority at meetings. When I am going down my agenda, certain people jump in about something that I was going to get to but they didn't give me a chance. I told them this "Yes that is important and I was going to get to that, but wait we need to resolve this other stuff first". They gave me an angry tone of voice/look after that. But I am the leader and they just have to respect that. The only problem is how do I word it delicately without someone getting upset? argh.

I am a modest person. I don't like talking about my accomplishments sometimes because it sounds like I'm bragging or something. The way I talk sometimes is kind of self-deprecating.. But I guess I should brag a little because otherwise people don't seem to respect me, even my friends.

It's kind of annoying when people think they can do a better job than you at something when you have seen them do it before and they did a shoddy job. For example, we had a religious ceremony and an alumni came and helped us perform it. Now, someone else organized it (of course on my coaxing and giving all the contact info) and by the way did a crappy job. Because at the event itself I was racing around making sure all the materials were there. And 10 minutes before to my unbelieving eyes, they are sorting all the papers to pass out!! I wanted to see what this person's capabilities were and needless-to-say I was kind of disappointed.

Also, I am a co-leader (supposedly) but I do most of the work!!!! And why does my co-president refuse to see it??? argh argh argh.

February 10, 2006: Winter Season

2006-02-10T16:41:00.000-05:00

Winter is a busy time for my family. Lots of holidays. In September, it's my mom's birthday. Then both my cousins at the end of Sept and in Oct. Then Diwali, then Thanksgiving, then Xmas, then New Year's Day, then my birthday, then my sister's, then my parents' anniversary, and concludes with my dad's birthday. phew. lots of gifts. so that's why i think i enjoy these past few months more:-). Then there is a biiiig gap until the cycle starts once again! Lots of gift-givings and gift-gettings and celebrations. good times.

acknowledgement to previous post:
i'm overdramatic. as long as i be myself and make the most of out every day, i won't be misleading. i'll just be me.

January 28, 2006 - Misleading

2006-01-28T12:05:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I think I am misleading. I use technology as a cover. In this particular instance, I mean Instant Messaging like AIM, Yahoo, MSN, etc. I don't mean to.

In person, I am a crazy chatterbox especially to longtime friends and my family. However, I am not like that with new people or people I have know for a short time or just people that I cannot open up to. They tend to think I am a quiet, shy person. So there are my two personalities.

I clam up like that because in physical presence, I feel awkward about the way I look, the way I move. Through instant messaging there is this cover, they don't ever have to see how I look or watch my movements. So because I can succesfully hide, I talk freely and I am myself.

But that's where I become misleading. Because when I meet these people at a party or on campus, I am extremely quiet and shy because I am so self-conscious. It must be confusing because I am so interesting online and quite dull in person. Even my roommates made the comment that it was fun to talk to me online (before we lived together). I don't know if that implies I am not as fun in person, but I get the idea that it does.

January 6, 2006- a sad day

2006-01-06T23:31:00.000-05:00

this morning i was being my lazy self and was going to sleep in again.
but my mom came in at around 8 am and told me shocking and sad news. one of our dance friends, thushara, her dad died last night from a heart attack. no one was expecting it. he was too young, too healthy. we drove over to their house to i guess be there for them. but what can one do when someone is mourning. it's numbing.
her dad was a really sweet and friendly person. he loved his family and cared so much about everyone. may he rest in peace.

January 2, 2006 - End

2006-01-02T19:19:00.000-05:00

What an interesting year. Not necessarily good or bad, I could say the 19th year of my life was one of indifference.
However it did end on a positive note. My parents got a sudden urge to make up for 5 years of lost vacations due to ahem dance programs *cough*, so we went to sunny California with fabulous palm trees:-).
It's quite a lovely story. In short we went to Las Vegas, Los Angeles, and San Francisco.

For a longer more detailed version read on.
We left on Tuesday Dec 20 around 9 pm. Not any major problems except one whiny little kid who cried a lot on the flight. We got there around midnight LA time. All the baggage showed up except mine. The airlines representative said simply that security must not have liked the bag, so they didn't send it along. uhhhh ok. but we got it the next day, so it was ok.
We went to my uncle's house in Brea, CA. I have not seen this uncle in 13 years, I've never seen his wife or his kids. It was like 70 degrees there! Couldn't believe it was the middle of December. We visited my cousin's elementary school. It was so different from the ones around here. Their classroom doors open to the outside and we just waltzed in. There was no front office check-in and getting a visitor sticker. [I have just been informed that since it was a party day, they were waiving this process, so scratch that hehe]

Then we went to Las Vegas. It took 6 hours instead of 3 because we hit a lot of traffic. We moaned and groaned in the car ride, but it was definitely worth it. Las Vegas is amazing! One cannot put it into words. Where else in the world would you find a city of lights in the middle of the desert that consists of many hotels where you just gamble? Unfortunately, I couldn't gamble as still not 21 :-/. But the hotels, frickin awesome!! Everyone should go once in their life and at least see the Bellagio fountains and inside all the hotels . Beeyootiful:-).

Then we went back to Brea and visited in Chino Hills one of my dad's old friends from Telco. He had a daughter my age that the last time I saw I think I was three. We talked and we are so similar! It was cool:-). On Christmas day, we drove to LA and walked on Hollywood Boulevard. I took a picture with Zorro (for you Sharmeen)!

My aunt and uncle (mom's cousin) in Brea have a daughter who apparently is my 'clone' and a 2 year old son who must have powerful lungs since he is an excellent screamer hehe. Then we went to Universal Studios! That was coool, I loved seeing the Studio tour where they shot all these famous movies and how they do special effects! It rocked:-).

Then we flew to San Francisco and drove to Santa Clara, where my main-mama (hehe mom's own brother) lives with his wife and adorable 1.5 years old daughter. She talks soo much and just everything she did was cute:-). We saw the Golden Gate Bridge, Fisherman's wharf, China Town, Lombard Street (literally crooked!), The Mystery Spot, and the Mystery House (in San Jose). The streets of San Francisco are scary...all those hills!

For this trip, I would like to thank the portable GPS system that my dad bought for saving us from getting completely lost. There were certain things that I will point out later about this trip, that stand out in my mind.

Another note, I read Life of Pi and it was really really good. An interesting perspective that I'll talk more about later.

November 16, 2005 - Wassup with that?

2005-11-16T23:51:00.000-05:00

What is the complete and utter fascination with football? Why is it amusing to watch something for four hours straight where a bunch of people who get paid too much for tackling each other?
Why is it a big deal not to go to the so-called "big game"?

Also, why on earth are people so good at making me feel guilty for not going? gah.

I don't particularly enjoy football. Now, don't think I don't admire athletes. Sports is a good motivation for people to stay healthy. And there are really great scholarship opportunities. And athletes really learn time management and responsibility. But why is football so much more important then say-I don't know- the freakin future of the United States?? If people cared as much about football as last year's Presidential race, who knows what would have happened?

Argh.

November 3, 2005- Day I couldn't think of a title

2005-11-03T22:45:00.000-05:00

First a note: I memorized the entire To Be or Not to Be soliloquoy for my Shakespeare class. Hopefully, I can remember it for a long time.

Also I did it. I changed my major. I'm a History major now. I feel better that now it is official. I am excited and scared at the same time though. I think it will be good for me though, I like learning about other cultures and people from the past who made a big impact on today's world. And also a chance to improve writing skills. My math skills are perfectly fine. College is supposed to be a time for learning new things and I want to learn how to write well. Hopefully through the History major I can accomplish that.

Things are looking up a little bit. Sometime in my grade panicking, I forgot to take a step back and realize that teachers are people. If you tell them about your concerns, they actually care. They don't want you to fail. They just want you to try your best. So with that note, I might actually have a chance of passing those aforementioned classes.

I finally get to go home. It's been a month since the last time! My sister is doing a cooool dance to some jammin Telugu songs for the annual Diwali party:-). I got a little part too. Unfortunately, I will be learning it tomorrow night. But luckily, I have my handy dandy dance memorization skills.

HAPPY DIWALI AND EID MUBARAK!!

October 29, 2005 - To Be or Not To Be

2005-10-29T17:55:00.000-04:00

To be or not to be; that is the question;
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing, end them. To die, to sleep-
No more, and by a sleep to say we end
The heartache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to- 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep.
To sleep, perchance to dream. Ay, there's the rub,
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil
Must give us pause. There's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life,
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
Th'oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of disprized love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office, and the spurns
That patient merit of th'unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? Who would these fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that dread of something after death,
The undiscovered country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pit and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action. Soft you, now,
The fair Ophelia- Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remembered.

-Hamlet III.i. 58-92

He says it all.

October 21, 2005: Bad Karma

2005-10-21T01:31:00.000-04:00

I think someone once said the best life to live is one with no regrets. Be positive that every decision that you made is some stepping stone to where you will end up in life; it's part of your destiny. etcetera.

bullshit.

i pretty much regret my whole college experience. I'm pretty sure I haven't really made an impact on anyone. I should have gone to GMU, saved my family a bundle of money because I also had gotten a scholarship. I could have double majored in Graphic Design & Communications. I could actually be happy instead of confused as hell.

I should have known from the moment I got into UVa. Everything that I expected and hoped for didn't happen. That's why I LIVE by Jonathan Swift's quote: "Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed."

The very first thing that went wrong is I got the worst housing possible. I didn't get the first year dorms, I will never ever say that I had the first year experience. Because I lived so far away, I made no close friendships. For the first time in my life, I took to just being alone as my only option. I never counted on anyone. It was definitely an enlightening experience.

I was looking forward to being on the dance team soooo much; Neha hyped me up for it. But I didn't make Sharaara (the dance team). That was embarassing and they made it tenfolds worse by sending me this rejection letter that told me everything I did wrong!!!

I didn't get to participate in India Day. However, I did get to dance at Kennedy Center. So that one's ok.

Blehhhhh...don't know anymore....

P.S. Don't be alarmed. The point of this is to complain. If I was too busy being happy why the heck would I write in this?

October 16, 2005- One Big Question Mark

2005-10-16T23:03:00.000-04:00

My current major:
Financial Math

Intended major as of Spring 2005:
Financial Math with French Minor

Reason for changing major:
Don't want to sit at a desk looking at compiling 5000 statistics to make a financial model trying to predict the market. I think I would cry or die of complete boredom. But I still like Math.

Future Options with classes already taken:
Basic Math Concentration with French Minor
Double Major Basic Math Concentration and French
History Major South Asian concentration with Math minor
" " " " " with French minor
Religious Studies Hinduism/Buddhism concentration " Math or French Minor
Economics??

Ridiculously Optimistic Option:
Basic Math and French double major with History minor (or some mutilated form of that)

Yikes. Shoot me now.

October 11, 2005 Failing

2005-10-11T17:36:00.000-04:00

I'm failing my two math classes. Not Indian failing (means a B or C). Failing failing like an F.

This is bad.

I don't want to be a math major anymore. I reached my math limit (literally). I only like Calculus and Differential Equations. Everything beyond that sucks. At least I know what I want to change it to. It has to be French because it's the only other program I have pursued as much as Math. How pathetic have I become that I'm just trying to pass out of college. College sucks. Life sucks.

::whimper::

The problem with the French major is it isn't "practical". What kind of job can I get with that? I know that I think I want to be an elementary school teacher, guidance counselor, web design, or graphic design. I have no idea what I am going to do with my life.

September 16, 2005- Inspecteur Maigret

2005-09-16T15:06:00.000-04:00

Bonjour tout le monde!
This semester I'm taking French 345: Culture and Society. It's just my luck that we are reading mysteries :-). Who knew there was this whole mystery series that I was totally oblivious of?? They are all written by a French author Georges Simenon. We have just finished reading Le Chien Jaune. It was quite good. Proud of myself that I guessed who le coupable was. Can't wait to read the rest of his novels! Simenon has quite an interesting life and writing style. Prior to starting the novel, we read some of his short stories and articles. They were simple stories nonetheless there is an element of realism to them. They aren't hard to believe. Probably that's why he is very popular and well-read. Being the book person I am I'm glad that I stumbled across his writings:-).

September 2, 2005- The Red Tent

2005-09-02T20:19:00.000-04:00

Hmmm...1.5 weeks since classes started. Going alright, as usual days going fast. But you see I came early because I had to get advisor training. None of my roomies were here so I had the whole apartment to myself. I borrowed an "International Bestseller" The Red Tent and ooooh couldn't put it down. What a dramatic twist in the second half. Totally unexpected. From a big, happy family to one person...estranged. I don't get it one stupid mistake and you're never supposed to talk to them again. Stupid traditions and only marrying within your race, culture, etc... I definitely recommend it though. Makes you think.

On a totally different note, I watched the 40 year-old virgin. Oh dear. Funny but as usual crude funny. feel good though that he married and was clean. perhaps he can be an inspiration:-P.

August 9, 2005 -Choices

2005-08-09T13:38:00.000-04:00

I know I am a Harry Potter geek for quoting Dumbledore, but something he said in the second book clicked.

"It is not our abilities that show what we truly are... it is our
choices."

That's good to know and all, but why do I feel I make a lot of wrong ones? If my choices show who I am...oh man. It's terrible to dwell on the mistakes, but I can't help it. I feel pathetic right now. I just hope that my sister can learn not to make the same ones I did. Perhaps, my choices can be an example of what not to do.

Jul 29, 2005- At Work

2005-07-29T11:17:00.000-04:00

I've been book deprived since I read Harry Potter. I've been feeding off of the newspaper, Sepia Mutiny, any magazine I can get my hands on. We get Reader's Digest, Entertainment Weekly, National Geographic. Quite a variety now that I think about it. So I need to go to the library, return the ones I have and ahem pay the fine that I have and possibly get new ones. Perhaps tomorrow.
I am an idealistic person. It is hard for me to stomach hardship and when I hear about someone else's hardship, I feel all guilty about the petty things I worry about. In fact, I get all confused. It is important to not be ignorant of what's going on, but there is a limit because a person could get all depressed.
Countdown 4 weeks till 3rd year of college starts again. I'm not sure if I am excited or not. I'm actually more frightened. I didn't do so hot academic-wise last year. No I don't mean waah I got B's, I'm talking a leetle lower in the next letter- aack. I have to do better. With the other things to do I HAVE to learn how to balance it all. Hopefully I can.
I still feel bad that I didn't get on the dance team at UVa. But you know why I never tried out again, they scarred me man by sending this looong rejection letter that begin wow you have great expression buttttt....... Anyhow maybe I'll try again. But I'm afraid I won't have enough time. But I want to dance. Hmmm maybe I'll try out just to see if I can get on it the second time around. If not, no harm done.
Ok listening to new Telugu songs, so I'll be off in that world for a while.

July 17, 2005- post hp & hbp

2005-07-17T17:26:00.000-04:00

WARNING: spoilers ahead

i'm so sad. how could they kill him? he was the next person harry trusted the most, the only one voldemort ever feared. i cried when i read that line, i just always assumed he was going to be there. i didn't think rowling would kill him off because he needed to be there. I know that Dumbledore has said several times that there are things worse than death. Actually in the very first book when he told Harry that Flamel was going to destroy the sorcerer's stone, he said

"To the well organized mind, death is but the next great adventure."

I think what bothers me the most about his death is his murderer. I never liked Snape, but one always wishes like Anne Frank says that people can have a little good in them. But Snape betrayed a man that trusted him unquestionably. I was secretly hoping the whole time that Snape was fooling all the Death Eaters, that he really was on the Order's side. But now that I think about it, he mistreated Harry so much and was just too nice to Slytherins. Snape was also responsible indirectly for Sirius's death constantly tormenting him about not being able to do his part. I hate Severus Snape and I hope Harry gets his revenge.

I just can't believe it. Dumbledore is actually gone. What's going to happen next? I can't bear to think of it all without him...

12-July

2005-07-13T00:31:00.000-04:00

blahh heh ignore that last entry i was basically pulling my hair out of boredom heh. u know that i think too much when i'm bored. very bad habit. anyhoo this summer involved a lot of fiction reading. At first I read a lot of novels by South Asian authors. I read some Chitra Divakaruni novels and a wonderful book called The Hero's Walk by Anita Rau Badami. But most South Asian novels are so serious and depressing at times. I was getting bored and all the heavy reading got to me, so I started reading a lot of light chick lit. I read both Bridget Jones books and the Shopaholic books by Sophie Kinsella. and some other chick lit like Is That a Moose IN Your Pocket?. All of them soo funny. I also started to read a few of the books my sister got from the book fair. light, middle-school age appropriate books. but I read them anyways. Very good. I don't think that such good books were there when I was in middle school. They all follow a variation of this formula: an underdog hero/heroine who learns about him/herself and finds his/her place in the world making lots of mistakes but trying their best. But I still liked them. They are good role models for kids that age. It makes you feel not so alone even if the character is only imaginary. Totally related to them. hehe. OK now the BIG KAHUNA!!!

HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE THIS SATURDAY!

CANNOT WAIT!!!!

::big grin::

Going Psycho 6/30/05

2005-06-30T21:58:00.000-04:00

I HATE summer. After having 2 whole fucking months of it, I remember how much I hate it. I am always in denial for at least the first month. Then start thinking crazy the second month and am absolute pyschopath the third. I left school happy that I don't have to study anymore that I get a break from the hectic schedule. Look forward to home-cooked meals and not stressing about doing anything. But I still HATE summer. Because I remember all over again how I don't fit in anywhere with anybody. I don't fit in with the dance class girls especially now because they don't come to dance anymore. Because I guess I am not that fun of a person to be around, I tend to go into this little cocoon. They are all so witty and fun and have a fabulous time; no need for me to go rain on their parade. And no no can't hang out with our old family friends because they're all overachievers that I can't even compare myself too. I mean all I can do is listen to all the wonderful things they do going abroad to Timbuktoo and having fabulous internships that will give them guaranteed jobs after they finish college. Ohh splendid. Oh moi? I barely have a 3.0 gpa and have sat on my ass for 2 months waiting for a job that I still can't start for 2 weeks!!!! So you think I should have some highschool friends who live in the same city. Oh wait I don't have any highschool friends. Except that one exchange student who moved back to Brazil. And the other friend who had an arranged marriage and teaches in South Korea (yes a white girl)!!!! And everybody else is too busy with jobs and all the fascinating stuff they do. I am terrible at keeping friends. I haven't really called anyone unless I need them to do something for me. And naturally nobody calls me- home friends that is. Isn't it pathetic that I can know someone since I was 2 years old or had played with them everyday for 2 years, but if they're in the neighborhood they don't call me. TWICE, it's happened. Kids I know from so long came to visit UVa and didn't call and tell me they were there. The answer is obvious. I lost touch with them and I must be some kind of freak that I am not worthy to be even notified to say a hello to them. That hurt so much. I feel trapped. Nowhere to go. This has been my life. I wake up late and turn on the TV/computer and just watch literally for 8 hours straight. I even got chick lit from the library so I don't have to read heavy, sad crap and can just read about the fabulous love lives of beautiful British women. After I watch all that TV, I read a little and go to sleep again. I am not good at calling people and arranging meetings to hang out because I either lost touch with them or when I do the phone conversation is so awkward. It's all my fault. Everything is. I should have called and hung out with people every day. I shouldn't be such a boring person. I should have made more friends in highschool. I should have I should have I should have. I can't go back in time, I can't change what people think of me. I HATE SUMMER!!!!!!!!!!

June 26, 2005: Post King's Dominion

2005-06-26T15:38:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I went to King's Dominion. It was really great! I haven't gone on a rollercoaster since I went to Disneyworld which was 6 years ago. All the rollercoasters were excellent and this is coming from a girl who screamed like a baby on pretty much all of them. What have I been doing since then? How could I have not gone to a theme park in so long? Honestly, before this year we haven't taken a single vacation other than to visit family since we went to Disneyworld. It's called dance. Which practically took over our lives (our being me, mom, and sis). I mean there was definitely a rush in the beginning with the glamour and the people and the stage. Then definitely could not miss performing at the Kennedy Center last year. I can stand up straight and have reduced my klutz factor. But. Here comes the but.
It took over my life. I literally didn't do anything but that for 6 years!!! From 13 to 19. My entire teenagehood revolved around it. No wonder I have self-esteem issues. Now that I slowly broke free this year, I am at loss of what to do. Going to King's Dominion yesterday with my college friends was really fun and made me think about all the fun opportunities I didn't take because of dance. The other sad part is a whole group of girls that also danced with me (but are wayyy better than me and started a while before me) think the same thing, that they want to experience other parts of life. So currently at dance class, there is a big gaping hole in the support department. There isn't any more strong dancers to take over the class simply because they might be slightly sick of it. They say that the structure has changed, but they have changed too.
My interests have never really been the same as the other dancing girls. I really enjoyed discussing what was going on in the world and reading books and just other stuff, when a majority of them just loved to dance. They have done a gajillion performances practicing the night before. I have done some of them too. They have been supremely sweet and are so fun to be around. I know I can have fun with them. Senior year of highschool I started to finally feel like a part of them. But then I went away to college and everything changed. Now I have drifted even farther from them. The truth is I could never be like the other girls, they are so glamourous and look even more stunning every time. It might not actually be wearing the right makeup. It's their confidence and such positive view of themselves. It's not really their fault they look amazing and I feel self-conscious about my own appearance and self. I complain about the girls and say they exclude me and say they're high maintenance. But it's all a cover for my jealousy and how unconfident I feel. I don't ever feel like I deserve to be a part of them.
So, if one of the dancing girls ever reads this (which I highly doubt), they should know that I don't want pity because it's not really their fault, it's my own. I'm just blabbing and reading this post over, it doesn't really make sense. Basically, I'm jealous and I need to get over it.

2005-06-05T18:37:00.000-04:00

Current Mood recovering from anger
Current Music Salt N Pepa "Here I Go"
Currently Reading Queen of Dreams by Chitra Divakaruni

I have been a couch potato pretty much since the moment I got back from school. Especially even more since my summer job is pretty much guaranteed; just going through the security clearance now. I even skipped the last two dance classes because my uncle came to visit one weekend and we went to NC the other.
So we finally went to dance today and got a decent much-needed workout. It was an unusually small class, not everybody came and I wonder why, but that's a whole another story. It was so exruciatingly HOT outside when we left that I couldn't touch metal without getting burnt. But I wore my seatbelt anyway because I care about my own safety and my Civic makes an annoying beeping sound if I don't. That is a pet peeve of mine -wearing your seatbelt. Someone very close to me tends to forget to wear hers and I feel like I repeatedly have to tell her to wear it. After reminding a thousand times, a person tends to get irritated, but I only tell her because I care about her safety and would never forgive myself if something bad happened. I am a pretty good driver, but I can't account for the rest of the world's driving skills so please buckle up. I often read about or hear on TV or the radio of some horrific car accident. The simple wearing of a belt could make the difference between life and death. I have family friends who went through a drastic life change because of an unfortunate accident and not wearing a seatbelt. I might be a teenager, but I know I'm not immune to harm. In fact, I'm pretty damn lucky for never getting into a major accident. If for some reason I do, I want to be prepared, so don't get mad if I expect you to wear your seatbelt; it's only because I care not because I like to be annoying.
Don't wait to learn to wear seatbelts "the hard way"

Ugly Statistic:

The Facts:
* Traffic crashes are the leading cause of workplace deaths, accounting for
1,347 (23.5 percent) of civilian worker deaths in 2000, according to the
National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health. More than half of these
victims were not wearing seat belts at the time of the crash. [13]

* Only 75 percent of drivers wear seatbelts. In fatal crashes, 30 percent
of occupants not wearing seatbelts are ejected from the car and 73 percent of
them are killed. But only 1 percent of occupants wearing seatbelts are ejected
in crashes. [11, 14]

*Most seat belt laws apply only to front-seat passengers. However, when
back-seat passengers don’t use seat belts, they not only endanger themselves but
can increase risk of death or injury to front seat passengers by 20 percent.
Teenagers have especially high crash risk but low seat belt use. [15]

(Cars,
Safety and flying... some potent statistics)

This blogger put up some scary statistics he or she read and if you still don't believe contact information and other resources. Please please please don't take chances on your life. Yes each person is entitled to taking some risks, but being reckless and endangering your life... I don't want to read your obituary in the paper or hear about you in critical condition in ICU. I couldn't take it :-(.